Light in the Shadows

give us time.  Time to navigate through the unchartered waters we now found ourselves in.  And I had to remember that nothing with Clayton Reed would ever be simple.  I just had to decide if I was okay with that.
                    I was so deep in my thoughts that I barely registered the sound of the doorbell.  It was only when a loud knock sounded on the door that I snapped out of it.  There would be enough time later for over analyzation.  Tonight was about Clay and me rediscovering everything we loved about one another. 
                    "Um...wow.  Thanks," I said in absolute and utter amazement.  Clay stood at my doorstep wearing dark jeans, a pressed blue collared shirt, black wool coat and holding the largest bouquet of roses I had ever seen.  It was obvious he had checked all of the required boxes on this "date".  Down to his perfectly slicked back hair and over eager expression.

                In the previous incarnation of our relationship we sort of skipped the whole "dating" thing. 

                Somewhere between saying hello and diving headfirst into the drama we had forgotten the basics.  Our love hadn't been typically teenage in any way.  We had gone zero to a million without so much as a trip to the movies or an uncomfortable dinner at Applebee's while we chatted about favorite bands and most embarrassing moments.

                Looking at Clay all dolled up and standing almost timidly in front of me, I realized how much we had missed.  How in the heat of our intense and crazy love we had forgotten the most important step in any relationship...the first date. 

                I felt a resurgence of my earlier sadness at those tiny moments that we hadn't experienced together.  I took a deep breath and reached out for the roses.  Clay's smile was shy and uncertain, showing me that he was as clueless as I was when it came to rewriting our history. 

                Was it possible to go back to the beginning?  To try and rewrite a history that had already come to define us?  To change the direction of fate and see where it took us?
                    I gripped the bundle of overpriced flowers in my hands and gasped in surprise.  I lifted my finger and saw a bright red blob on the tip.  Shit, I should have realized there were thorns.  The bite of pain reminded me that we had a long way to go.  That no matter how beautiful the package, the hurt was still there.

                And I wasn't sure how long it would take for it to go away.  Or if it ever would.  But I reminded myself that now was not the time.  The hurt would be there for me to think about…later.

                "Are you alright?" Clay asked, moving toward me.  I stuck my finger in my mouth.  The tang of copper sharp on my tongue.  I nodded my head and moved away before Clay could touch me.  
                  I dropped the flowers on the table inside the door and grabbed my purse.  I joined him on the porch and zipped up my coat. 
                    “Are your parents here?  I should say hi.” Clay peered into the house. 
                    “No, they’re out.  But I’ve been given a very strict curfew of midnight.  Otherwise I’ll turn into a pumpkin or something,” I teased.  Clay laughed, clearly relieved that the parental meet and greet would be postponed for another time.

                "You ready then?" Clay asked, his smile less painful and much more heart wrenching.  That was the kind of smile that could make a girl forget everything else.  And at one time I had. 

                Was I ready?

                Hell if I knew.

                But looking at his hopeful expression I knew that I could only try.
                    I placed my hand in his outstretched one and squeezed lightly.  “Lead on, kind sir.  I’m entirely at your disposal,” I said as Clay pulled me toward his car.  His entire demeanor seemed to change once we were in the car and headed down the road.
                    He was happy and carefree and yes…hopeful.  And I knew then that I really liked the look of it on his face.  I only wished it could stay there forever.
                    “So where are you taking me?” I