Live and Let Drood

Eventually. But not without drawing a lot of attention and probably the arrival of major reinforcements.”
    “The Regent did say Crow Lee had his own private army.…”
    “Well, yes, but I doubt he brings them with him when he comes to visit his club. He’d expect the club to protect him. Probably has his own bodyguard, though.”
    “Hah!” said Molly. “I laugh in the face of bodyguards! And then I do really awful things to them and make them cry for their mothers.”
    “I know,” I said. “I’ve seen you do it. Let us try the straightforward way first.”
    I nodded significantly at the doorman, who was still standing stiffly at attention before the club’s doorway, pretending he wasn’t giving his full attention to every word we were saying.
    “Ah!” Molly said happily. “The old way! The bullying and intimidation of stuck-up flunkies! Oh, Eddie, you’re so good to me.…”
    “Yes, I am,” I said. “And don’t you forget it.”
    “I get to go first!”
    “Of course.”
    Molly strode up to the doorman so she could glare right into his face. Though she had to stand on tiptoe to do it. He met her gaze levelly, giving every indication of being entirely unmoved. Which was, of course, the worst thing he could have done. Molly will stand for a lot of things, but being ignored definitely isn’t one of them.
    “We are coming in,” Molly said firmly. “That can be past you, or over your beaten and broken body. It’s up to you. Guess which I’d prefer.”
    “No trainers,” said the doorman. “And definitely no witches thatdon’t know their place. No entrance here ever, unless you’re a member in good standing, which you aren’t and never will be. Now piss off, girlie, or I’ll set the hellhounds on you.”
    “You haven’t got any hellhounds,” said Molly, grinning really quite unpleasantly. “I’d know. So get the hell out of my way, or I’ll turn you into a small squishy thing with your testicles floating on the top.”
    The doorman lowered himself to sneer at her. “I hear worse than that from the members every day if I don’t move fast enough. You can’t touch me; I’m protected by the club. Now get out of my sight, before I make you cry.”
    I stepped forward then to stand beside Molly. “You try to be nice to people, but then they have to go and cross the line. No one threatens my Molly and gets away with it. So stand aside, Uniformed Flunky with an Unfortunate Attitude, or I’ll rip your dickey off.”
    “Eddie!” said Molly, amused but just a bit shocked. “Not in public…”
    “A dickey,” I explained patiently, “is another name for the bow tie.”
    “Ah,” said Molly. “I hadn’t noticed he was wearing one.…Now, that is distinctly unappealing. Downright ugly, in fact.”
    “Bow ties are cool,” I said. “The Travelling Doctor said so.”
    “And he should know,” said Molly. “He’s been around. Mr. Doorman isn’t moving, Eddie. Feel free to do your very worst.”
    I armoured up my right hand, grabbed a handful of the doorman’s starched shirtfront and ripped it right off him. Along with his waistcoat and his dickey. The doorman stood there, bare-chested, and gaped at my golden gauntlet. He seemed to shrink in on himself just a little.
    “Oh, fuck. You’re a Drood.”
    “Language, Jeeves,” said Molly, highly amused.
    I dropped the wreckage of his shirtfront onto the pavement, and held up my golden fist before his face, so he could get a good look at it.
    “Who are you people?” said the doorman. He was deeply upset. I could tell.
    “I am Eddie Drood, and this delightful yet dangerous young lady is Molly Metcalf,” I said just a bit grandly.
    “A Drood and a Metcalf sister? Oh, shit,” said the doorman miserably. “I’m going home early.”
    “I would,” I said.
    The doorman turned and ran back into the club, leaving the door standing half-open. His voice gradually faded away as he receded into the club’s interior, calling for help and protection. It was nice to know my name still meant something. And Molly’s, too, of course.
    “The protections are still in place,” Molly observed pointedly.
    “So they are,” I said. “Good for them. And good for us that I have this.”
    And I held up the skeleton key Patrick had given me. Just a yellowed piece of human bone, carved into a universal key, that could unlock anything. Including some things that were only technically or symbolic locks. I leaned carefully forward and eased the