Long_Way_Home

up against me as closely as possible as we kissed passionately.
    I broke away, resting my forehead against his. I could see he was looking at me apprehensively.
    “Gotta breathe.”
    “True, I prefer you alive.”

23
    The Long Way Home / Catt Ford

    I was staring down at him, his cheeks flushed and his hair mussed up. The grim look was gone from his face as if it had never been. He looked happy.
    I must have been grinning myself because he grinned back at me.
    “So proud of yourself.”
    “Shouldn’t I be? First date and I got you in the sack.” He drew me down for a kiss. “You’ve got me wherever you want me.”
    We held each other in silence for a while. I cushioned my cheek on his shoulder and he lay on his back staring into the fire.
    “Don’t you – want to –” he asked hesitantly.
    “I’m courting you, Mr. Webster. I missed out and I want to take it slow. I have a lot of years of pent-up longing here.”
    He gave a sigh of relief. “I thought I was courting you, Mr. Johnson.”
    “I’m willing to share the glory.” He shook under me as he laughed. “So how long have you liked me?”
    “I think I was hot for you from the moment I met you.” 24

    The Long Way Home / Catt Ford

    “You mean when we were both wearing footy pajamas in our playpen?”
    “You were a hot number even as a baby.”
    “Yeah, I was,” he said smugly.
    I loved how he went from uncertain to confident so quickly, but I guess I was riding the same rollercoaster. “So how long have you liked me?”
    I could see his blush even by the firelight. “I guess I caught on a little later than you. I was fifteen when I realized you were the one for me. But I wasn’t sure, you seemed so distant….”
    “Because I was trying to hide my giant crush and be nonchalant around you.” I was afraid to ask but I had to know the answer. “What if this fucks our friendship? Did you ever worry about that?”
    “What kind of friendship have we had since you left?” Jake’s voice was gentle in contrast to his hard words, but it was only the truth.
    “I was afraid of ruining it, that’s why I left. I couldn’t bear to see disgust in your eyes….”
    “Look at me, is that what you see?” His eyes were amber and gold like the fire, full of warmth and desire. So easy to read where once they were opaque to me.

25
    The Long Way Home / Catt Ford

    “I guess you still like me.”
    “Yeah, I do.”
    It gave me a little thrill to hear him say I do, in the only way I could ever get to hear those words. “Are we spending the night on the floor?”
    “My mother used to let me and Les sleep out here after Christmas.”
    “It’s not Christmas yet. What if Santa doesn’t come down the chimney because of us?”
    “I’ve already got the only thing on my list right here.” Jake pulled me to him and kissed me softly.
    The lights illuminated the room with sparkling points of color, like being inside a prism, so different from the darkness I’d inhabited since I left.
    I just lay there and held him, listening to his heartbeat slow under my ear. There was no hurry, now that we knew we wanted the same thing. We touched and kissed and stared at each other all night. It was enough. For now.

    WE must have fallen asleep eventually, because the fire had died down to a bed of glowing orange embers when I finally came to.

26
    The Long Way Home / Catt Ford

    I stared at Jake’s face, marveling at the new peace I saw there. His dark lashes lay on his cheek like the wings of a butterfly and his parted lips made him look vulnerable.
    During our childhood, when he’d been so sure and confident while I was so insecure, I’d never seen the vulnerability that he revealed to me all in a rush last night.
    His eyes opened and he smiled when he saw me. “I had the best dream.”
    “Yeah?”
    “That you were here and I was holding you. And then I woke up and it was true.”
    I grinned at him. I loved that he was taking this all so easily. “Funny. I had the same dream. Want to take a shower together?”
    His eyes lit up. “Oh man, I’d love that!” He led the way upstairs, to the hall bathroom.
    I was looking forward to undressing him, but I didn’t get the chance. He started stripping quickly, eyeing me uncertainly, as if hoping he would measure up to my standards. His body was different now, that of a full-grown man, beautiful in contour and definition. I felt a little tingle in my groin just looking at him.
    “Wow,” I whispered.