Losing Hope

behind me is no longer breathing.
    He’s the reason. He’s the reason for all of it.
    He’s why Les isn’t here anymore. He’s what broke Hope. He’s the reason my mother knows the meaning of devastation. This bastard is who stole my sister’s strength away from her, and I want him dead. But I want to be the one to do it.
    I remove my arm from around Sky and push her away from me. I turn to face her father, but she steps between us, facing me with pleading eyes, pushing against my chest. She knows what I want to do to him and she’s trying to push me out the door. I shove her out of the way because I don’t know what I’m capable of right now and I don’t want her to get hurt.
    I begin to step toward him, but he reaches behind the couch, then quickly turns and holds up a gun. I honestly wouldn’t even care that he’s holding a gun, but my protective instinct kicks in when I think about Sky, so I pause. He pulls the radio to his mouth with his free hand, keeping his gun trained on me the entire time he speaks into it.
    “Officer down at thirty-five twenty-two Oak Street.”
    His words immediately register in my head and I realize what he’s about to do.
    No.
    No, no, no.
    Not in front of Sky.
    He turns his gun on himself, then looks at her. “I’m so sorry, Princess,” he whispers.
    I close my eyes and reach for her the second he fires the gun at himself. I cover her eyes and she begins to scream hysterically. She pulls my hand from her eyes, right when he falls to the floor, causing her to scream even louder.
    I clamp my hand over her mouth and immediately pull her out the front door. She’s too hysterical to carry right now, so I just drag her behind me.
    The only thing running through my head at this point is how we need to get into the car. We need to get the hell out of here before anyone finds out we were ever here. Because if anyone finds out we were here, Sky’s world will never be the same.
    When I reach the car I keep my hand clamped to her mouth and I press her back against her door, looking her hard in the eyes. “Stop,” I tell her. “I need you to stop screaming. Right now.”
    She nods vigorously, wide-eyed. “Do you hear that?” I say, trying to get her to understand the ramifications of what could happen if we don’t leave right now. “Those are sirens, Sky. They’ll be here in less than a minute. I’m removing my hand and I need you to get in the car and be as calm as you can because we need to get out of here.”
    She nods again so I remove my hand and quickly shove her into the car. I rush around to the driver’s side and climb in, then crank the car and pull away. She leans forward in the seat and drops her head between her knees. She keeps saying, “No, no, no” under her breath, all the way back to the hotel.

Chapter Forty-five
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    Once we’re back inside our hotel room, I walk her to the bed. She’s having one of her moments where she’s completely zoned out and I don’t do anything to bring her out of it. It’s probably best if she stays like this for a while.
    I pull off my shirt, which is now covered in blood. I remove my socks and shoes and jeans and toss them all aside. I walk to where Sky is still standing and I remove her jacket. There’s blood all over her and I’m trying to hurry so I can get her in the shower and wash it off. She finally turns to face me with a blank expression. I lay her jacket across the chair next to us, then lift her shirt over her head.
    I reach down to the button on her jeans and undo it, then begin to lower them. When I reach her feet, she just stands still. I look up at her. “I need you to step out of them, babe.”
    She looks down at me and places her hands on my shoulders while I pull the jeans off her, one foot at a time. I feel her reach to my hair and brush her fingers through it. I toss her jeans aside and look back up at her. She’s shaking her head looking down at her hands, which are now moving frantically over her stomach. She’s smearing her father’s blood all over her stomach, attempting to wipe it off. She’s gasping for breath, trying to scream, but nothing’s coming out. I stand up and immediately pick her up, rushing her to the shower. I need to get this off her before she completely loses control.
    I set her down in the shower and turn on the water. Once it’s warm, I close the shower curtain and pull her wrists away from her stomach. I wrap her arms around me and pull her against my chest,