Losing Hope

those clothes back up.”
    She laughs and rushes to me, throwing her arms around my neck. “You’re the best, most understanding boyfriend in the whole wide world.”
    I hug her back and sigh. “No, I’m not. I’m the most whipped boyfriend in the whole wide world.”
    • • •
    We’re sitting in my car across the street from her old house and I’m gripping the steering wheel so hard I’m afraid I might break it. Her father just pulled up into his driveway, and as mad and outraged as I’ve been in the past, I’ve never had the urge to actually kill someone until now. Just seeing him makes my stomach turn and my blood boil. I lift my hand to the ignition, knowing nothing good can come of this if I don’t drive away right now.
    “Don’t leave,” she says, pulling my hand away from the ignition. “I need to see what he looks like.”
    I sigh and fall back against the seat. She needs to hurry up and get what she needs because this is bad. This is bad, bad, bad.
    “Oh, my God,” she whispers. I turn to her, wanting to know what made her just say that. “It’s nothing,” she says. “He just looks . . . familiar. I haven’t had an image of him in my head at all but if I was to see him walking down the street, I would know him.”
    We watch as he ends a conversation on his cell phone and walks to the mailbox.
    “Have you had enough?” I ask her. “Because I can’t stay here another second without jumping out of this car and beating his ass.”
    “Almost,” she says, leaning across the seat to get a better look. I don’t understand why she would even want to see him. I don’t understand how she’s not jumping out of this car in order to rip his balls off, because that’s the only urge I have right now.
    After her father finally disappears inside his house, I turn and look at her.
    “Now?”
    She nods. “Yeah, we can go now.”
    I place my hand on the ignition and crank the car, then watch in horror as she swings open the door and rushes out of the car.
    What the fuck?
    I turn the car off and swing open my door, running after her. I chase her all the way across the front yard and halfway up the porch steps. I wrap my arms around her and lift her up, then turn back to the car. She’s trying to fight me and kick me and I’m doing everything I can to get her as far away from the house as I can so he doesn’t hear her.
    “What the hell do you think you’re doing ?” I say through clenched teeth.
    “Let go of me right now, Holder, or I’ll scream! I swear to God, I’ll scream!”
    I let go of her and spin her around to face me. I grip her shoulders tightly and try to shake some goddamned sense into her.
    “Don’t do this, Sky. You don’t need to face him again, not after what he’s done. I want you to give yourself more time.”
    She looks at me and begins to shake her head. “I have to know if he’s doing this to anyone else. I need to know if he has more kids. I can’t just let it go, knowing what he’s capable of. I have to see him. I have to talk to him. I need to know that he’s not that man anymore before I can allow myself to get back in that car and just drive away.”
    I take her face in my hands and try to reason with her. “Don’t do this. Not yet. We can make a few phone calls. We’ll find out whatever we can online about him first. Please, Sky.” I turn her toward the car and she sighs. She finally relents and begins walking toward the car with me.
    “Is there a problem here?”
    We both spin around at the sound of his voice. He’s standing at the base of the porch steps, eyeing me carefully. If I wasn’t having to physically prevent Sky from falling to the ground right now, I’d be rushing him.
    “Young lady, is this man hurting you?”
    She grows limp in my arms the second he speaks to her directly. I pull her against my chest. “Let’s go,” I whisper. I turn her toward the car. I need to get her away from him. I just need to get her to the car.
    “Don’t move!” he yells.
    Sky freezes at the sound of his voice, but I’m still trying to urge her toward the car.
    “Turn around!”
    I can’t force Sky forward at this point and there really isn’t a way out of this situation. I begin to turn her around with me and keep my arm wrapped around her. She looks into my eyes and there’s more terror in them than I ever imagined a single person could feel.
    “Play it off,” I whisper in her ear. “He might not recognize you.”
    She nods and we