Lost in You

the curtains have been drawn so no one can see us out here. Whoever closed them clearly didn’t see us walk out.
    She sits down, pulling a chair close to her. I set the sodas on the small table and sit down across from her. Our knees are almost touching and close enough that we’ve created a table for her to place the plate on our knees. I feel this energy pushing me toward her, as if my body is telling me that I need to touch her.
    “So, back to my music. You don’t like it?”
    “No, it’s not that. This was the first time I’ve heard it… or maybe the first time I’ve actually listened. Your show was really good though.”
    Hadley’s eyes haven’t left mine since we sat down. She squints a bit when I tell her this is the first time I’ve listened to her sing.
    “Have you lived under a rock? Sorry, that was rude. I’m just used to everyone being the biggest fan, so I don’t often run into someone who doesn’t listen.”
    “It’s not just your music; I don’t listen in general.”
    This time her eyes widen and her mouth drops even though she keeps her lips sealed. “How can you not listen to music?”
    I shrug. “My parents don’t like it and I don’t have a radio. I mean, I listen when I’m in the car with my friend, but I can’t say I pay attention enough to know who I’m listening to.”
    “Wow, that’s just so—“
    “Odd, stupid, strange. That pretty much sums up my parents.”
    Hadley reaches into her pocket and pulls out her phone. Of course it’s just like Dylan’s. She turns on some music and sets it down on the table.
    “Well, your parents aren’t here now, are they?”
    “No, definitely not.”
    “So tell me about yourself, Ryan.”
    I look at her questioningly. “How do you know my name? I didn’t introduce myself?”
    She bites her bottom lip and looks away from me. Her cheeks turn pink and I can’t tell for sure, but I think she’s trying not to laugh. “Alex told me,” she says without looking at me.
    “Oh.” I’m not sure how I should feel about that. Do I like it that she asked or what? I’m not sure what I’m supposed to tell her. What does one tell someone when he or she says “tell me about yourself”? Are they looking for a specific answer? “Um, well, Dylan is my best friend. We live in Brookfield, which is about two hours from here. On Monday I’ll be a senior in high school.”
    When I say high school her head snaps up. She studies me as if I’m joking, her eyes moving around my features. My hands rest on the side of the chair and wait for her to say something.              
    “How old are you?” she asks.
    “I’m seventeen.”
    “When will you be eighteen?”
    “In December.”
    “Oh wow, I didn’t think… Crap this isn’t good.”
    The awkwardness increases tenfold. She moves away from me. I scramble to catch the plate before it tumbles to the ground.
    “Shit,” she says. “I’ll be right back.”
    She gets up, leaving me, with a plate of half-eaten food and her phone playing music.

CHAPTER 6
    Hadley
     
     
    Why can’t things in my life just go as I imagined? Ryan and I getting to know each other, finding out if this connection I’m feeling is real or just my imagination. No, it’s not my imagination. The pull is there. I feel it, that magnetic force that people always talk about. I felt it the moment we made eye contact from across the room.
    Why does he have to be underage? Eighteen I can deal with, but not seventeen.
    I left him sitting on the chair. Just upped and left. He must think I’m rude. I have this party as a front to get to know him. I stop him from leaving, knowing that if he did, I’d never see him again. I would never have the opportunity to hear his voice or experience the feelings going through me right now when he answers my questions. I knew sitting there that I wanted to keep him talking.
    Now I stand at the other end of my balcony. My head rests on my hands as I lean against the cold concrete wall – a wall that is currently preventing me from jumping over the side while I figure out what to do. I need to talk to Alex, but she’s occupying the guests while I hit on Ryan. Or try to. Maybe he doesn’t even like me. Hell, he didn’t even know who I was until tonight.
    I stare out into the night sky, the stars twinkling as I ask them for some sign on what I should do. Never have I been in a relationship where I’ve felt this strongly about someone. I should be scared. I should be