Lost in You

touch her shoulder or what, so I just stand here with my hands stuffed into my pockets.
    She walks to the door and opens it, leaving me rooted in my spot. She turns and looks at me and doesn’t say anything before walking back into the church. I scratch my head, wondering why I had to come back here if she wasn’t going to talk.
    I also wonder what is going on with her.
    I quietly close the door behind me and walk to the pew where my mom and Hadley are sitting. They are right next to each other, sharing a Bible. I can’t help but smile. I sit down next to Hadley and pull her hand into mine. She looks over at me briefly and smiles before giving her attention to my mom. I think this one time I’m okay with not being the focus of her attention because when I lean forward I see my mom smile – and that is a sight I want to see every day.
    Sitting through this sermon is torture. I think this is why mom suggested Hadley come, to teach us a lesson. I think about plugging my ears, but I’m not sure that would go over too well. Instead I listen to Reverend Monroe talk about the sins of sex before marriage and I start thinking that while this may put my mom’s mind at ease, it only spurs mine.
    I don’t think Sally Stone would be too happy to find out her son now wants to test the waters after listening to Reverend Monroe go on and on about the pleasures of sex between a man and a woman, even if he’s telling the young members of the congregation that we should wait.
    When he finishes speaking there are snickers from the younger members. I have a feeling his message of abstinence didn’t hit home like he thought it would. I look around and spot Dylan, who is glaring at me. I try to grin, but clearly that is the wrong thing to do. She stands and walks out of the church. A few people turn and look when the door slams. This, of course, catches my mom’s attention. She looks down and shakes her head before standing and greeting other parishioners like she’s never met them before.
    I pull Hadley up, leading her out of the aisle toward the basement door. I can’t sneak her into the utility closet this time, even though all these thoughts are running through my head, courtesy of Reverend Monroe. I’m tempted to find out just what her skin feels like against mine. If it’s as pleasurable and sinful as he described. This is a sin I’m willing to commit, but I doubt she’ll let me.
    When I look back, she’s staring at me. For a moment I think her eyes sparkle, but I know that’s ridiculous – it’s the light from the stained glass window shining just right against her, making her beauty stand out. I’ve never seen someone so pretty, at least not like her. I’ve never thought of Dylan as pretty, I guess maybe she is. I know guys at school think she is, but to me she’s just Dylan. But when I look at Hadley, I want to get lost in her as if she’s my salvation.
    She pushes me forward, shaking her head and laughing. I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to the way I feel when I look at her, or the way she makes me feel. I suppose if I don’t, it’s something I can look forward to each time I see her or am in a room with her. This feeling, it’s not something I want to go away.
    Hadley wraps her hand around my forearm and leans into me. I like this. I like the way she’s being with me here. But I know this is only because we're away from others and somewhat secluded. No one has headed toward the social gathering in the basement, but they will soon.
    I’m surprised to find Dylan downstairs when we get there. She looks at me briefly before turning away. She’s putting out the cookies, which is something I usually help her with. Hadley grabs my hand and drags us over to the table.
    “Hi, Dylan.”
    Dylan stills, her hand lingering over the tray. She sets down the package of cookies and turns toward Hadley. I can’t tell if her smile is genuine or not, but her eyes definitely look cold.
    “Hadley, it’s so nice for you to join us.”
    “Thanks. I like your church.”
    “Of course you do,” Dylan mumbles as she turns back to the cookies.
    Hadley lets go of my hand and starts unwrapping a pack of cookies. Dylan looks at her out of the corner of her eye, but doesn’t stop her. Maybe if I leave them, they can talk and Dylan can go back to being Hadley’s number one fan.
    I step away and go set up the coffee. As much as I’d like to stay and listen to what they’re talking about, I’d like Dylan to go back to