Lost in You

time since I’ve met Hadley Carter, I’m completely uncomfortable. She turns and looks out the window, shaking her head.
    “I should’ve known a long-distance relationship wouldn’t work.” She says this so quietly I almost didn’t hear her.
    “Why won’t this work? I mean, I know I can’t drive or fly to see you, but soon –”
    “It’s not about you being able to drive or fly to be with me. I’d do that if you asked.” She turns her body, resting against the door, bringing her knee up and hooking it behind her leg. I so want to run my finger along the curve of her knee to the hem of her dress, but don’t know if I can take her shying away from me again.
    I don’t know what to say so I stay quiet, just like I do at home when my dad is harping on me.
    “Are you in love with Dylan?”
    “What?” I squeak out like a girl. I clear my throat and ask her again.
    “You heard me.”
    “I did, but not sure why you’d ask me that question.”
    “Because Dylan said that you asked her to the homecoming dance the other day and I’m trying to figure out why you’d ask her if you have a girlfriend.”
    “I didn’t ask her.”
    Hadley shakes her head. “So you’re not going to homecoming with her?”
    “No, I didn’t say that. She asked me. She said she couldn’t find another date and didn’t want to go alone or something like that. I’m so used to saying yes to her that I didn’t really understand what I was agreeing to.
    “She told my mom before I had a chance to tell her that I really didn’t think you’d like the idea of me going with her and I’m gathering from the way we’re talking, I was right.”
    Hadley bangs her head against the car window. Her hands cover her face. When she pulls away, her eyes are glistening.
    “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t know how.”
    “Do you want to go to homecoming with her?”
    I shake my head.
    Hadley comes over, straddling my lap. “You can’t ever lie to me, Ryan. If you don’t want to be with me or want to date other people, just tell me. Don’t worry about my feelings or breaking my heart. I’m falling in love with you, but if you don’t want me, just tell me and I’ll go away. I promise.”
    I look around for the driver and notice that he’s no longer standing near the car. I drag my hands up her legs, under her dress. I’m waiting for her to stop me, but she doesn’t. My hands rest on her ass, pulling her closer to me. I lean my head back, my eyes rolling, when she pushes down on me. The feeling of her against me, it’s something I want to explore. Her hand trails up my chest, around my neck and into my hair. Soft lips press against mine and as much as I’m enjoying the feel of her in my hand, I need her closer.
    My hand finds her hair as her tongue touches mine. I hold her face softly in my hand. My other hand grazes over the side of her breast. She pushes into me more, urging me. Leaning forward, I take a chance. Moving my hand to the top of her dress, my fingers trail over the swell of her breast. She bites down on my tongue, lightly, but enough to keep me going. I want to tear away from her so I can see what I’m doing, but I don’t dare stop. I move one strap, then the other and finally move away from her lips to her neck until I reach her breast. Her hand pulls at my hair. It should hurt, but it feels good and I want her to pull harder.
    I move the top of her dress, exposing her pink bra. I kiss along the lace, moving it a little each time until her hand stops me and her face is buried in my neck.
    “I want you, Hadley,” I say into her ear, taking a chance with my words. “I know I’m not experienced, but I know everything in my body is telling me that you can help get rid of this ache I’m feeling.”
    “I can’t, but I want to.”  
    “Can you look at me?”
    She lifts her head, kissing along my chin to my lips before she’s upright. She moves my hair away from my eyes; her touch is tender and loving.
    “I’m falling in love with you, too.”
    “Yeah?” she asks, her eyes beaming.
    “Yeah,” I say, matching her expression.
    “I can’t wait to be with you.” Her lips find mine again and all I know is that my birthday can’t come soon enough.

CHAPTER 22
    Hadley
     
     
    It’s been a month since I’ve seen Ryan. Actually, it’s been thirty-seven days, eight hours and forty-two minutes and I hate every second of it. The last day that I saw him, I was angry at