Lost in You

way. For all I know, I’m too late. He could be tired of me already and I wouldn’t blame him if he were. I’m not sure I’d be able to let him go though. I’m in too deep.
    I decide to wait on the bench by the tree… our tree. That seems silly, saying it’s our tree, but it’s where our first ever paparazzi picture was taken. Probably not something most people want to keep, but it meant something to me. I want Ryan in my life and he'll need to get used to those fleabags hanging around.
    “You shouldn’t sit out in the dark by yourself.” I turn and find Ryan leaning up against the tree, his hands stuffed into his pockets. He’s wearing a hoodie, his beautiful brunette hair hidden underneath the hood. I want to run and jump into his arms, but he doesn’t look like he wants that and it breaks my heart.
    “I wasn’t out here long.”
    Ryan adjusts, leaning his back against the tree. It looks like we're keeping our space.
    “Why me, Hadley?"

CHAPTER 27
    Ryan
     
     
    I almost didn’t leave the house to meet her, but now that I’m standing here, looking at her, this is where I need to be. I’m not sure how this moment will end, either I’m walking away because I can’t take the way I feel about her being on tour with her ex, or she’ll show me that all my worries are for nothing. She could leave me. It’s an option that I refuse to consider. She could be tired of my immature crap and be here to tell me that she’s done. But why would she fly all this way when she could just text me. Keep it simple, with no emotions.
    I ask her the same question I asked before. This time I’ll be able to see her beautiful face when she tells me why she chose me. The logic behind us doesn’t make sense. I come from nothing. Destined to be nothing and yet she pursues me and tells me I can be anything I want. She forgets that my chances of getting out of Brookfield are limited and that she’s had opportunities people like me only dream about. Her parents have supported her from day one. Mine just expect me to brown-bag it to the mill once graduation comes. High hopes, my parents have.
    I’m fighting the urge to sit next to her. I know that once I do, I’m done for. She can say anything and I’ll believe her. Call it desperation or being whipped, I don’t care. I’m in love with her and being away from her physically hurts.
    I straighten when she stands. I’ve never seen her out of a dress. She’s always been made up and flawless, until now. She’s in yoga pants, tennis shoes and a zip up. Her hair is pulled back and she looks tired. I realize that I don’t care that she’s not in a dress. She’s perfect just the way she is. Seeing her like this, it makes me think she’s giving a part of herself to me that’s usually reserved for behind closed doors. Even when we spent the one night together in her hotel room, she was the Hadley Carter everyone knows and loves.
    But standing in front of me now is my Hadley.
    She doesn’t step any closer, keeping the gaping distance between us. Three large steps and I can have her in my arms. I move my hands from my pockets and place them between my back and the tree. I need to keep a level head and touching her will just cloud my mind.
    I can see now why guys don’t like to date. It’s complicated and messy, but it has to be worth it in the end, at least that’s what I’m hoping.
    “You asked this yesterday and I told you, but maybe that wasn’t enough, or maybe it’s something I shouldn’t say over the phone.” She’s closer now. I can see her tears trailing down her face and it makes me want to reach out and wipe them away. She looks up to the sky and smiles. She pulls the rubber band out of her hair and shakes her head. It’s raining and she’s basking in it.
    “You’ll catch a cold,” I say as if I’m her parent.
    “I don’t care.”
    “You won’t be able to sing.”
    “Good,” she says as she looks at me.
    I push my hood off as well, matching her. I step out from under the heavy cover of the tree and stand in front of her. Raindrops bounce off her eyelashes, making her look even more beautiful.
    “I’m in love with you, Ryan. What I feel for you, it’s different from anything I’ve ever felt before. From the moment I saw you, I knew I had to have you in my life. Whether we were just going to be friends or more, it didn’t matter because not knowing you wasn’t an option for me. That night after my show, you were sitting in the corner