Lost in You

benefit. I look back at the hotel as we pull away and wonder if Cole has been back to the room yet and realize I don’t really care. If Ian is doing this as some type of publicity stunt, he’s in for a rude awakening because I won’t be his guinea pig. I’d rather quit and never sing again than be thrown into his world of lies and deception.
    Traffic is light and for that I’m thankful. The drive to the airport only takes twenty minutes and yes, the driver exceeded the speed limit. I hop out as soon as he stops, throwing money onto his passenger seat. He says something, but I don’t acknowledge him. I look at the reader board to find the next available flight, one that will get me to Jackson or close enough that I can drive there.
    My phone vibrates with a text from Alex. Your ticket is at the counter. Regular airline.
    I can’t help but laugh at how vague she’s being, talking in code. I run to our favorite airline and wait patiently, looking over my shoulder for Cole’s blond hair. He has to know I’m gone by now and where I’m headed, unless of course he met a girl on his way to the store and became sidetracked. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s forgotten about me.
    With my ticket in hand and through security I finally feel as if I’m breathing. Although there are still issues weighing heavily on my chest, seeing Ryan will help. Even if we only have a few hours, it’ll be enough for me to tell him exactly how I feel and how much he means to me.
    When I step onto the jet bridge I look behind me one more time. Satisfied that I’m not being followed, I descend down the walkway and onto the plane. I didn’t look at my ticket until now and realize I’m not flying first class. I want to scream at Alex, but figure she did this to keep Ian off my tail. I’ll have to buy her a nice present.
     
    I’m anxious as the plane touches down. My leg has been bouncing for the last hour of the flight. I know I’m probably annoying the lady next to me, but I can’t help it. I turn on my phone and wait, counting the seconds before my inbox floods with text messages. There are only two people I want to hear from: Ryan and Alex. The rest of them can leave me alone for the next couple of days while I fix my life.
    I’m becoming more and more agitated as I wait for people to deplane. This process is so slow and I don’t know how more people aren’t scrambling to fly first class. When I’m finally on the jet bridge, I run to the rental counter. I’m banking on Alex having already set this up for me. It dawns on me that Ian would know which rental company I like so I look around and try to think like Alex. I spot the company that she is always making fun of and head there. I give the lady behind the counter my name and she smiles. I’m hoping it’s because she has a reservation for me, not because she’s a fan and is planning on asking for my autograph. Of course, if I would’ve developed a fake name like Alex has suggested so many times, I could avoid a potential situation like this.
    The clerk hands me my paperwork and keys. I fill out the necessary information and head for the parking garage where my car is waiting. Just over an hour until I can hold and kiss him.
    That is, if he’ll come to me.
     
    One hour and thirty minutes later, I reach the Brookfield town line and I realize I don’t remember his address. I had it once, when I invited him to the charity ball, but never added it to my phone. I think about driving around, but wouldn’t know where to go. I know he said the town is divided and remember him saying he wouldn’t want me at his house.
    I find the church easily enough and park, shutting off the car. I never took into consideration what time I’d arrive. I just needed to get here before it was too late. For all I know it already is. He hasn’t texted me, only Ian, Cole and Alex have.
    I pull out my phone and type I’m at your church and hit send before my heart tells me to chicken out and go back home. Maybe I’m not good for Ryan, maybe Dylan is the type of girl he needs, the kind that understands where he’s from.
    All I know is that Ryan is who I need. He’s the air that I breathe in order to live. He’s different and makes me different, too. The love that I feel for him is nothing like what I felt for Cole. I ache when I’m not with Ryan. I’ve been a fool to think that being apart would be okay.
    I look at my phone, willing it to ring, giving me any sign that he’s on his