Lost in You

It wasn’t right. I wasn’t right for him. The changes he was making weren’t for the better and I didn’t want to see him become someone he hates because of me. But I love him so much and it hurts.”
    Dad pulls me into his arms. “You know your mom always says if you love something, set it free. If he comes back, he's yours.”
    “And if he doesn’t, he never was.”
    “I’m sure he’ll forgive you.”
    “No, he won’t. I broke his heart.”
    I rest my head on my dad’s chest and let him comfort me. If Ian thought that my dad was going to yell and scream at me, he’s sadly mistaken. Ian doesn’t have to worry because I’m doing that enough for myself. My last vision of Ryan is enough punishment to last me a lifetime and that’s what I’ll have, because there’s no way Ryan and I will ever cross paths again.
    I made sure of that.

CHAPTER 31
    Ryan
     
     
    I can’t believe she walked away from me. I need an explanation. What did I do? I look around. Everyone in the police station is staring. Are they feeling pity? Are they thankful that Hadley Carter is gone and out of their sleepy town?
    I could make a run for it, make it back to her car before she does and demand that she take me with her. Beg her to rip up that stupid piece of paper and tell those lawyers to get the hell away from us. We can run, leave Brookfield and never come back. I’m only a few weeks from turning eighteen; surely no one will care. Everything that has happened between us has been because we’re in love, nothing less. She didn’t force herself on me. I welcomed her.
    His strong and domineering voice shakes me from my reverie. I turn and look, wishing I hadn’t. His face tells me everything that I need to know. He’s going to make me wish I were spending the night in jail. My dad pushes me toward the door. I try to resist. I try to keep my feet grounded but it’s no use. I look at the desk clerk and wonder if she knows what’s going to happen when I walk out this door. Do they know what kind of man my father is? Right now, even I don’t know, but after seeing him in that room, I have an unhealthy fear of him.
    He’s too calm as we drive home. He’s even singing to himself. I can’t hear what he’s singing about, but it seems to keep him happy. I’m tempted to reach over and turn on the radio in his truck, wondering if it even works. I know that turning it on would piss him off. Maybe I should rock the boat while I’m already in for it when I get home. I want to hear music, is that so wrong? I want to hear her voice. I want to be a normal teenager.
    My mom is standing in the window when we pull up. She disappears quickly, not opening the door or waiting for us. The enigma that is my parents is really starting to freak me out. I don’t know if it was Hadley who opened my eyes or what, but the way my mom acts is weird and my dad... I never want to be like him.
    I try to beat my dad into the house. I want to make it to my room where I feel the safest. He grabs me by the back of the sweatshirt and heaves me across the living room and onto the couch. I hear a pan drop in the kitchen and wonder if she’s watching or whether she’s nervous. Does she know what he’s capable of?
    I try to move, but he’s on me before I’m able to defend myself. He presses his knee into my stomach, his other hand clamping down on my throat. I’ve never seen this side of him. The look in eyes is menacing. Deadly.
    I try to remove his hand off my throat, but he tightens his grip. I push his face, extending my arm as far as I can. I stretch enough to get him off of me and allow my leg to move and help alleviate some of the pressure on my stomach. His hand slips from my neck, causing him to collapse on top of me. We both grunt from the pressure.
    I take a deep breath and choke. The burning in my lungs is making breathing difficult. If I don’t move, he’s going to kill me. I kick and scramble as he tries to pin down my arms. I never knew how strong he was until now. He pushes down on my face, cutting off my air. I gasp and slap at his face, my legs working to get him off of me. Where the hell is my mother?
    “If you ever disgrace my name again, I’ll end you.” I know he’s telling the truth. The tone of his voice is enough to drive the point home. His knee grinds into my stomach with such force I feel like I’m going to throw up. It’s now or never. I can’t stay like this or he will kill me.
    I raise my knee hard, not once,