Lost in You

him because he was there and we had spent so much time together. Our love grew that way, but with Ryan…” I pause and smile at that sound of his name coming off my lips. “With Ryan, it was instant, like a bolt of lightning passed from him to me.”
    “So what’s the problem?”
    I look at my dad in questioningly, furrowing my brow. “Ian didn’t tell you?”
    Dad sets his spoon down, picking up his napkin and wiping his mouth. “He said that you’ve gotten yourself into a bit of trouble with a guy and that you were coming home and that he’d be here tomorrow. Being in love isn’t trouble if you ask me.”
    “I am in love, but it’s wrong.”
    “Love is never wrong, Hadley.” He says this with such confidence I almost believe him.
    He picks up his spoon just as I blurt out: “It is when he’s only seventeen.”
    He looks at me and tomato soup drips down his chin. I grab my napkin and wipe it away. He sets his spoon down again and turns. “Seventeen?”
    I nod.
    “Why?”
    Shrugging like a child would be the easiest answer to give, but I’m not going to discount what I feel for Ryan. That wouldn’t be fair to him. “I know it deep in my heart that he’s the one for me, regardless of his age. When I first saw him, Dad, I knew. It was later that night that I found out his age and by then I was so lost in him that I couldn’t see straight.”
    “Hadley –”
    “No, let me finish. I want to get this all out there so you know why I’m here and why Ian is coming. We met at a show. His friend won a contest and she brought him. I had Alex talk to him and then I had an after-party so I could spend time with him. We spent all night talking and I fell asleep in his arms. When the sun woke us up, he kissed me. It was his first kiss and for me, it felt like I had never been kissed before. I asked him to the charity ball and he came. I went to church with him, I met his mom and everything felt so good.”
    “I hate asking this because I know you’re an adult, but did you have sex with him?”
    “No, I wouldn’t, but when Ian invited Cole on this tour, things changed for us. Ryan became jealous, not that I could blame him, and we were fighting, so I went to see him, to tell him how I feel. I wanted to be with him so bad. We were in my rental and I was pushing for it, but he stopped me. We were about to go to his house when the cops showed up.
    “His dad had reported him as a runaway and I was arrested for harboring him. We weren’t running anywhere, but the officer didn’t believe us and now… I did the worst thing I could’ve ever done to protect him from my crazy world.”
    “What’s that?”
    “I made him sign a no-contact order until he turns eighteen, which is just a few weeks away, but the worst part is I shut off his phone. I was paying for his cell phone because his parents won’t allow him to have one and I needed to talk to him.” I cover my face and break down. When I say it out loud it makes me realize I chased this boy. I gave him no option but to fall for me. “I’m so stupid.”
    Dad wraps his arms around me. “Come sit down, let’s talk.” I follow him back to the living room and sit next to him on the couch. I pull my leg underneath me and he mimics my position. It’s funny, my dad with his salt and pepper hair sitting just like me. “Sounds like love got the best of you and that’s okay. Sometimes you feel so much that common sense goes out the window. The important thing moving forward is that you’re making the best decisions. Everyone has an error in judgment every now and again. You just happen to live in the limelight so when you, or someone like you, does it, the consequences are greater.”
    “What do you mean?”
    “Not that I’m condoning what you did, but I think in a normal setting dating someone a bit younger isn’t frowned upon. It may not be ideal, but definitely not a bad thing. Love doesn’t know age.”
    “I’m not good for him,” I say, choking on my words. I wipe away my tears and cover my face.
    “I find that hard to believe. I know you better than anyone, except maybe your mom and Alex, and I know you’re a good person.” My dad pulls my hand into his. “Tell me about the no-contact order.”
    I shake my head, biting my lip. “They were going to charge him with assaulting an officer and the lawyer Ian sent suggested it. I didn’t want to, but after thinking about it and realizing that Ryan’s changed who he is to be with me...