Love Means No Shame - Andrew Grey

never make him happy, no matter how hard she tries, and she won’t know why, and he’ll never be able to tell her. I know I’m unhappy, but he’s the one who’ll be unhappy for the rest of his life.” The looks on his aunts’ faces told him they were at least starting to understand.
    “My God, he’s in a prison.” Mari put her hand over her mouth.

    “And it’s a life sentence.” Geoff didn’t try to keep the pain out of his voice. He had a pretty good idea of how hard Eli was going to have it for the rest of his life.
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“What can we do?”
    “Nothing. The only person who can do anything is Eli, and he’s made his decision. It hurts, but his caring nature is part of why I love him. I can’t expect him to care about his family any less than he cares about me.” It was true. He’d never have forced Eli to choose between him and his family. “You need to move on.” Geoff shook his head—Vicki just didn’t understand. But she was trying, and he had to give her credit for that. “Aunt Vicki, if Eli was a woman, would you be telling me the same thing?”

    Geoff could almost see the light go on behind his aunt’s eyes,

    “Oh goodness. I’d… we’d be supportive and let you grieve for the loss.” Before Geoff could nod, she was on her feet, rushing to his side of the table, hugging him tight. “You take as much time as you need. We’ll be here for you. We’re just worried about you.”
    “I know, and I appreciate it.” Geoff hugged her back and then got up. “Did you want to go for a ride?”
“Not today.” She looked toward the front of the house, “I should take Janelle home before she explodes.”
    “I meant what I said.” He looked at both his aunts. “I never want to have anything to do with her again. There’s enough hate and bigotry in the world. I don’t need it from my family, and I won’t have it in my house.”

    “You know she’ll be at Jill’s wedding.” The last thing he wanted was to put his family in a difficult position. “Just don’t put us at the same table, and we’ll be fine.” Geoff winked, and they both hugged him again before rejoining the rest of the family in the living room.
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    “Dan, we should get going. Geoff's got things to do.” They all got up, and after exchanging hugs and saying their good-byes, they left. The house was quiet again with only Len sitting in his chair.
    “I went to the bakery this morning. I saw Eli while I was there.”
Geoff felt hope flare inside him and then die back down. “How is he?”
“I didn’t get a chance to talk to him—his uncle was there. But he smiled. His uncle recognized me from when I brought Eli to visit.
    He told me Eli was doing well and that he was acclimating well and planned to join the community next week.” Len looked at Geoff, a little puzzled. “That was exactly what he said, but I don’t know what it means.”
    Geoff felt his legs wobble, and he flopped on the sofa to keep from falling. That was it, after next week…. “It means that next week, Eli is scheduled to be baptized into the church. That he’ll take his place as an adult member of the Amish community.” He’d known this was coming, but just hearing about it was a little overwhelming. Geoff felt the last bit of hope he’d been clinging to slip from his grip.
    Every day, he’d hoped that Eli would somehow return to him, that he’d change his mind and come back. Now he realized how ridiculous he was being. He had to move on. Somehow, he had to figure out how he was going to live the rest of his life without Eli.

    Geoff got to his feet and went into the office, shutting the door quietly. He’d just sat at the desk when he heard a soft knock. “It’s open.” Len cracked the door and stepped inside. “Up ’til now, I haven’t been able to bring myself to come in here. It reminded me too much of Cliff.” Len stood in front of the desk, just looking around. “I can still see him sitting at that desk, working, planning, 190
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smoking one of his damned cigars near the window so I wouldn’t find out.”
    Len’s voice sounded so careful. “I had Cliff for twenty years, and I enjoyed every minute I had with him. I know you had Eli for just a few months, but it doesn’t make the loss any less overpowering or any less meaningful.” Len sat down as Geoff watched the man he considered a father share some of his own grief.
    “I can tell you that it