Lucy in the Sky

front of me, forcing me to look into his eyes and come face to face with the pain I’ve inflicted.
    ‘I haven’t given up on you,’ he tells me, reaching out to touch my cheek. I resist the urge to recoil. ‘I know you’re confused at the moment but don’t do anything silly. I love you, baby. And it’s going to be okay.’ He leans forward and kisses me lovingly on my forehead and then, tears welling up in his eyes, he walks out.
    I stay sitting on the sofa in my dressing gown for over two hours. It’s my mum who eventually snaps me out of it.
    ‘Lucy,’ she says down the phone, ‘they said you were ill at the office. What’s wrong?’
    ‘It’s all such a mess, Mum.’
    She listens while I fill her in, begging her not to say, ‘I told you so.’
    ‘So what’s your plan, now?’ she asks eventually. ‘You’ve almost got rid of your boyfriend, next it’ll be your flat and after that your job, the way you’re going. That’ll make it easier for you to go back to Australia and leave everything behind, won’t it? Because you won’t have much to leave if you carry on the way you’re going!’
    ‘Mum!’ I exclaim, but she’s unrelenting.
    ‘Look, I just want you to be realistic. It’s a major thing to leave your whole life behind and start again from scratch in another country. I know that from bitter experience.’
    ‘But, Mum, this is not about you,’ I say sadly.
    ‘Oh, Lucy. Of course it’s about me. It’s about us , our family . We don’t want you to leave England! I know you’re confused but you mustn’t make a decision like this too hastily. Just, please, buck yourself up and get back to work. Don’t get yourself fired as well.’
    What am I doing? I’m so used to my mum being the voice of reason; am I really making a huge mistake?
    I take a shower, turning the hot water to cool after a minute to try to blast my senses back into action. Then I phone the officeto say I’m coming in at lunchtime. Mum’s right; I have been taking the piss at work recently. Mandy demands such high standards and doesn’t approve of her staff’s personal lives coming between them and their performance at work. She’s given me so many incredible opportunities and recently I’ve been throwing her job back in her face. Fair enough that I’ve had time off for my father’s funeral, but she wouldn’t consider my behaviour regarding Nathan and James to be acceptable.
    Before I leave, I go to my bedside table and pull the drawer open, my eyes falling on the black velvet box with my diamond necklace inside. I open it up and look at the glittering solitaire.
    Oh, James…Do I really believe he’s been sleeping with Zoe? I remember the hurt on his face last night and this morning. He’s been my love for four years and I’m just going to walk away from him like this? Nathan’s going home in little over a fortnight. What am I going to do then?
    The memory of Nathan kissing me up against the wall slams into my mind and I feel dizzy. Would I really choose two and a half blissful weeks with him over a potential lifetime with James?
    In a heartbeat.

Chapter 26
    ‘Hey!’ Chloe and Gemma smile as I approach my desk. ‘What’s up with you?’ Gemma asks.
    ‘Last night I snogged Nathan and broke up with James.’
    ‘NO!’ they both scream.
    ‘ Shhh! ’ I warn, looking around to check Mandy’s not in earshot.
    ‘Tell us what happened!’ Chloe insists. I fill them in while they listen, flabbergasted.
    ‘Shit,’ Gemma gasps.
    ‘Have you really finished with James? Really, really ?’ Chloe asks, wide-eyed.
    ‘Look,’ I say matter-of-factly, ‘I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Nathan since I went to Sydney earlier this year. I love him. I have to be with him. Whatever the cost.’
    They sit there for a quiet moment, then Chloe speaks gently. ‘But, Lucy, James does have a point, don’t you think? Once you’ve shagged Nathan you can never reverse it. I know that’s what you want right now, but soon he’ll be gone and then you’ll be well and truly screwed. James is a great guy and,for what it’s worth, I don’t believe he’s cheating on you with Zoe.’
    ‘Don’t you?’ I ask surprised. I thought she and Gemma were swayed by the time Gemma saw him with Zoe on Primrose Hill. And again when he went to her house on fireworks’ night.
    ‘No, I don’t,’ she insists.
    Great. Now I’m even more confused, and I didn’t think that was possible.
    ‘Lucy, have you got a