Lucy in the Sky

bust-up. Now I’d gone, he only had Molly to confide in.
    I think it was James who finally cured my Sam obsession.Because it was an obsession. I remember once going round to Sam’s house to find him listening to moody music in his bedroom–the very room I’m staying in now. I asked him if he was okay. I could see he was anything but. He told me that at the school disco the night before he’d seen Molly cosying up to a guy in the year above us. I’d seen it too. At the time, instead of feeling sorry for Sam, I’d been hopeful that maybe she’d find someone else and leave him free and single for me. But I tried to reassure him.
    ‘She does love you, you know.’
    ‘I don’t know, Lucy. She’s so hard to read sometimes.’
    ‘I could talk to her if you like?’
    ‘No, it’s okay. I don’t want you brought into this.’
    I’m already in on this, I thought. If only I could take myself out of it.
    He took my hand and said, ‘What a shame you and I aren’t into each other, Lucy.’ I squeezed his hand tighter, silently screaming: I am into you! I’m in love with you! ‘But we’re too much alike, aren’t we?’ he continued.
    I had to look away to stop him from seeing the pain in my eyes.
    I remember now that Nathan’s door had been ajar and I peeked in as I walked out of Sam’s room. He seemed so young back then, skinny legs sticking out beneath his shorts. He had his hair long then too, in contrast to Sam, who always kept his short. He was sitting strumming on his guitar and I could see his lips moving as he mouthed the words to a song I couldn’t hear. He looked up, startled, then shouted at me: ‘Close the door, Lucy!’
    ‘I’m not listening!’ I shouted back. But he slammed the door in my face.
    I held on to my feelings for Sam for years, through all theletters from Molly telling me about how she was comforting him in the wake of his parents’ deaths, right through to just a few years ago when you could sense their relationship had reached a whole new level.
    I never told James how I felt about Sam, but I did tell him about our friendship. I think I did a pretty good job of making out how purely platonic it was from both our sides, and then after a year or two I began to believe it as well. Sam was just a high-school crush. I know it’s deranged, but I’d enjoyed the teenage angst and feelings of unrequited love, and leaving Australia so suddenly had only served to draw out those feelings for longer.
     
    ‘Lucy!’ Sam exclaims, as he appears down the path in the Royal Botanic Gardens wearing beige shorts and a beige long-sleeved shirt. He has a straw hat on his head, green gloves on his hands, and big black boots on his feet. His legs are much hairier than they used to be. He looks kind of cute. Definitely not fanciable.
    ‘Hi, you,’ I reply, as he leans down to give me a kiss.
    We walk back the way I’ve come. ‘I hope it’s not this windy on Saturday,’ he muses.
    ‘I was thinking the same thing.’
    A little, red trackless train drives past, pulling three carriages full of people. ‘That’s what you’ll be arriving in on the Big Day.’ Sam grins.
    ‘ Really? ’
    ‘Yep.’ He laughs. ‘Didn’t Molly tell you?’
    ‘No, she didn’t.’
    ‘I hope I haven’t ruined the surprise. Don’t tell her I’ve told you, just in case.’
    We walk back out past the Opera House and down the steps to the lower pavement, which is bustling with busy bars.
    We choose one and take a table just outside the doors, where we’re sheltered from the wind. Sam goes to place our order, waving aside any attempts to force payment on him.
    ‘I want your advice,’ he says, once he’s seated again. He takes a small red box out of his pocket and pushes it towards me. I open it up carefully.
    ‘Wedding present for Molly,’ he tells me. ‘You think she’ll like it?’
    It’s a silver bangle, studded with tiny diamonds.
    ‘It’s beautiful,’ I gasp. ‘Are these real?’ I point at the diamonds.
    ‘Yep,’ he confirms.
    ‘Sam, she’s going to love it.’
    ‘Phew. So glad you think so.’
    ‘She told me about your proposal,’ I say after a moment.
    ‘Did she?’
    ‘Yes. So romantic in the glasshouse…’
    ‘…in amongst the Australian tropical rainforest…’
    ‘…with the city looming overhead.’ I smile.
    ‘Did she tell you about my wet trousers?’
    ‘No!’ I laugh.
    ‘Goddamn sprinkler system. I knelt down on the platform and got soaked through.’
    ‘Well, at