Maxwells Smile

emotions bottled up inside, so who was she to think she could understand another person’s pain? But an irresistible force deep within nudged her forward, if only to make contact with him, to touch him and let him know she did care.
    “Sam?”
    He lifted his head, but didn’t turn to acknowledge her. Rachel could feel his sadness float through the air in tangible waves.
    “You leave Maxwell alone inside?” he muttered.
    “He can see us from the waiting room window. The receptionist is a former babysitter, so he’s in good hands. He’s the one who said I shouldn’t ignore my urge to follow you out here.”
    Sam chuffed out an abbreviated, but lackluster, chuckle.
    She put her hands on his shoulders and gave them a squeeze. He tried to shrug her off, but it was a futile attempt, so she maintained contact.
    “Can we talk?” she asked. “Have you spoken to anyone about your brother?”
    He shook his head, and she wasn’t sure what else to say or do.
    How many times, when she was a young, new mother, had she wished that people would ask if she needed help or wanted to talk about her struggles? Raising a child as a single mom in a small town was not easy, thanks to ignorance and gossip, but acceptance had finally come. Rachel didn’t know what to do for Sam, but at least she could offer.
    “I want to be here for you,” she said gently. “Whatever you need, just ask.”
    Sam turned and, before she could say another word, pulled her into his arms and nuzzled his head against her shoulder. It wasn’t so much a hug as an entreaty for understanding, for kindness, for a quiet connection. And she gave it willingly.
    He sniffed, and she wondered if he was crying. Didn’t matter. He was safe in her arms. Because she understood about needing to talk about something, yet not being able to put it into words. And she was pretty sure guys didn’t sit around talking about their feelings. Sam might never have had an opportunity to share his pain, his loss.
    “He was just a kid,” Sam said. She felt him tremble, and hugged him closer, clinging to the soft plaid shirt on his back. “Jeff had leukemia. The doctors tried everything, but it was too aggressive. We weren’t able to find a bone marrow donor. He died four months after being diagnosed.”
    Rachel held Sam silently, sensing he would tell her what he wanted to, his own time. But meanwhile she felt warm tears spilling down her cheeks. They belonged to both Sam and her.
    “Our parents died in a car accident when Jeff was eight, so I was all he had. I tried, Rachel. I tried so hard, but I couldn’t save him. I should have been able to save him. Why couldn’t I?”
    “I don’t know,” she said. It was always sad when a young person died, and there was never an acceptable reason for it. “Sam, it’s okay. I just want you to know it’s okay.”
    He nodded against her shoulder, then abruptly straightened and turned aside to wipe his eyes. “I’m acting like a nut here. I don’t know what came over me. I don’t think I’ve cried since the funeral.”
    Rachel’s heart tumbled at that confession. This man needed to grieve. “You can cry on my shoulder anytime.”
    He chuckled and shot her a hopeful look. “Anytime? I just may take you up on that offer.”
    He quickly looked away, and she sensed he needed some time alone.
    “I should be getting back inside. You going to be okay?”
    “Right now? No. I think I’m going to blast out some more tears after you walk away.”
    “Tears are good.”
    “Is that so? Kinda sissy, don’t you think?”
    “Not at all.” She touched his cheek, tracing a wet trail. “Tears are for healing. We women have known that for ages. Gets out the complicated stuff we’re not always able to verbalize. It works for guys, too, I promise.” He shrugged and gave an accepting nod.
    “Give me a call later,” she said. “Maxwell and I will probably pick up pizza on the way home. We may need you to help us, because we always order too many breadsticks.”
    “Sounds great. Thanks, Rachel. It means a lot that you came out here looking for me. You could have just let me walk away.”
    “I could never let you go, Sam.” She sucked in a breath, then leaned in to kiss his cheek. “See you soon.”
    Giving his hand a reassuring squeeze, she turned and walked back inside, breathing in deeply to absorb the overwhelming feeling of rightness she got from being near Sam Jones. Even when his world was closing in around him, there was