Monstrous Regiment

Sarge?”
    “Hah, me? I daresay there’s a few people out there who’d take a potshot at me, white flag or no. Don’t you worry. The word’s gone out.”
    “What word’s that, Sarge?”
    Jackrum leaned closer.
    “They ain’t gonna shoot a girl, Perks!”
    “You told them?”
    “Let’s just say that news gets around fast,” said Jackrum. “Grab the advantage. And I’ll find your brother while you’re gone, upon my oath. Oh, one other thing…look at me, Perks.”
    Polly turned in the crowded, jostling corridor.
    Jackrum’s eyes twinkled.
    “I know I can trust you, Perks. Make the most of it, lad. Kissin’ don’t last!”
    Well, that couldn’t be plainer, Polly thought as the armed men by the door beckoned them forward.
    “Stick to the walls, okay, ladies? And be quick with that rag!”
    The heavy door swung open. Half a dozen arrows bounced and pinwheeled along the corridor. Another one tore through the flag.
    Polly waved it desperately. She heard distant shouting and then cheers.
    “Go! Go!” said a guard, pushing her forward.
    She stepped out into the sudden daylight and, to make sure, waved the flag overhead a few more times. There were men in the courtyard and lining the battlements around it. There were bodies, too.
    A captain, with blood soaking through his jacket, stepped across the fallen and held out his hand.
    “You may give that to me, soldier,” he said.
    “No, sir. I must deliver it to your commander, and wait for his reply, sir.”
    “Then you give it to me, soldier, and I will bring you back the reply. You have surrendered, after all.”
    Polly shook her head. “No. This is a truce. That’s not the same thing. I have to hand this over personally and you aren’t big enough.” A thought hit her. “I demand to take this to Commander Vimes!”
    The captain stared at her, and then looked closer.
    “Aren’t you one of those—” he began.
    “Yes,” sighed Polly.
    “And you locked them in chains and threw the key away?”
    “Yes,” said Polly, seeing her past life start to flash before her eyes.
    “And they had to hop miles with shackles on and no clothes?”
    “Yes!”
    “And you’re just… women? ”
    “Yes!” said Polly, letting the “just” go for now.
    The captain leaned closer and spoke while trying not to move his lips.
    “Dan gug show. Ell done. Agout time soes arragunk arsetards ere aken own a eg!”
    He leaned back. “Commander Vimes it is, then. Follow me, miss.”
    Polly felt hundreds of eyes on her as the squad was let into the Inner Keep. There were one or two wolf whistles, because there were more soldiers in there, including quite a few trolls. Jade bent down, snatched up a rock, and hurled it at one of them, hitting him between the eyes.
    “No one move!” shouted Maladict, waving his hands urgently as a hundred men raised their weapons. “That was a troll version of blowing a kiss!”
    And, indeed, the troll who had been hit was waving at Jade, a little unsteadily.
    “Can we knock it off with the lovey-dovey, please?” said Polly to Jade, as bows were lowered. “The soft people are likely to get the wrong idea.”
    “It’s stopped the whistling, though,” Maladict observed.
    More people watched them as they climbed flight after flight of stone steps. No one could take this place, Polly could see that. Every flight was seen by another one higher up, every visitor would be sighted on before she’d even glimpsed a face.
    A figure stepped out of the shadows as they reached the next floor. It was a young woman, in old-fashioned leather-and-mail armor, with a breastplate. She had long, very fair hair; for the first time in weeks, Polly felt a twinge of envy.
    “Thank you, Captain, I’ll take over from here,” she said and nodded to Polly. “Good evening, Corporal Perks…if you would follow me, please?”
    “She’s a woman! And a sergeant!” Maladict whispered as Angua led them down a wide corridor.
    “Yes, I know,” said Polly.
    “But she gave an order to that captain!”
    “Maybe she’s a political…”
    “And she’s obviously female!”
    “I’m not blind, Mal,” said Polly.
    “I’m not deaf, either,” said the woman, turning and smiling. “My name is Angua. If you will wait here, I’ll have some coffee sent in. There’s a bit of an argument going on in there at the moment.”
    They were in a sort of anteroom, not much more that a widened area of the corridor, with a few benches. There were big double doors at