Mulch ado about nothing

husband died first, she’d still receive his one-third share of the profits. She’d hoarded the money for the kids’ college funds in stocks that were also doing well.
    “I see they’re putting up another facility in that new mall,“ Shelley added.
    “And they’ve gone on-line and are raking in Internet sales at a fabulous rate,“ Jane replied. “I’ll never get really rich, but I finally have enough stashed away for college fees and can do a few things for myself. Being stingy is a hard habit to break, but the television for myself is a start.“
    “Is getting rid of that awful station wagon and filling the chasm in your driveway next?“
    “The station wagon still has a few miles to go, but I really should get a new driveway,“ Jane said, her eyes lighting up at the thought of getting rid of the World’s Worst Pothole.
    Shelley shot out of the driveway, talking and looking at Jane. “So Arnie brought you some more food. I think maybe he’s getting a crush on you.“
    “He’ll get over it today, if he does. Now that I’m clearly mobile. He was just feeding me because I was acting so helpless. Don’t you ever look at what’s behind you?“
    “I don’t care what’s behind me,“ Shelley said with a laugh. “You know, I heard that the first thing on a woman’s body that starts to go is the back of her arms. I figure that’s why God put them where we couldn’t see them.”
    Jane nearly toppled over laughing. When she finally caught her breath, she said, “I’ve noticed something else. I’m getting arm muscles. Look. But pull over first!”
    Shelley obligingly did so. “Whaddya know. You are getting muscles.“
    “I like them,“ Jane said. “I thought we might drop in somewhere that I could buy some hand weights so I can keep them in both arms.“
    “Hand weights! You’re going to exercise! I never thought I’d see the day!“
    “Maybe we could even join one of those health clubs and both get back in shape,“ Jane burbled.
    Shelley stiffened up and threw the car in gear. “That’s going all too far! Exercising... ugh,“ she said with a shudder, and then said, “Look what Paul gave me last night. “ She dug in the center console and handed Jane a tiny phone.
    “What’s this for?“
    “Calling while I’m driving.”
    Jane put her head in her hands and pretended she was sobbing. “Even safe drivers are a menace when they drive and talk on the phone. Promise me you’ll never use it when I’m with you.“
    “Who would I be calling except you?“ Shelley said. “And if I’m with you, I don’t need to call you and you wouldn’t be home, you’d be with me.”
    As Jane was deciphering this reasoning, they passed a fast-food restaurant and Shelley turned in to get a cup of coffee to go. Jane chose a huge glass of iced tea because the day was rapidly turning hot. They reached the community center and she had to shift her attention to exiting the van and walking up the stairs, balancing her heavy paper cup in her free hand. She only slopped a little of it down her leg.
    They were early and only Stefan was already in the room. Jane looked over her notes from the previous day while the others wandered in. Within ten minutes, the adult students were ready for the day’s topic. But the teacher hadn’t appeared. They chatted among themselves for fifteen minutes. Jane took the opportunity to thank Arnold again for the beans. “I didn’t even wait for today. I tried them out last night and they’re delicious.”
    Arnie just looked pleased and nodded his head. Ursula, stepping on a comb she’d dropped that looked like it was meant for currying a horse, leaped in. “A bean dish? Oh, do tell me the recipe. I love beans.”
    Jane whispered to Shelley, “Have you got that phone on you?“
    “In my purse.“
    “Then pretend you’re helping me to the bathroom and we’ll call Mel and report that Eastman’s still missing.“
    “Excuse us for a moment,“ Shelley said to the group. “Jane needs a helper.“
    “You call him,“ Shelley said, handing the phone to Jane when they reached the bathroom. “You just push the power button, wait a moment, then dial and push the button marked ‘talk.’ “
    Jane fumbled with the tiny buttons and reached Mel on the third ring. “I thought you should know Dr. Eastman didn’t turn up in class this morning.”
    Shelley tried to put her own ear to the tiny speaker. Jane waved her away and listened intently to Mel.
    When the conversation