Mulch ado about nothing

Remember that movie we saw, Quest for Fire, and the Neanderthal who was trying to pick up all the melons at the same time and kept dropping them? I feel like that guy”
    Early Monday morning, Shelley called on the phone. “Are we going to the botany class?“
    “I assumed it wasn’t happening,“ Jane said. “Mel told me Julie Jackson’s still in a coma.“
    “But they might have scrambled and got a replacement teacher,“ Shelley said. “Let’s run down to the community center and see.”
    Jane had spent most of the weekend on the sofa, knocking back soft drinks and snacks. She’d weigh a ton if she kept that up. “You’ll drive, or should I?“
    “Have you checked your car insurance?“ Shelley asked.
    “My car insurance?“
    “I’m told most insurance companies won’t pay for an accident if the driver has a cast on the right foot.“
    “Are you really telling me I can’t take myself anywhere at all? For weeks! I’ll go mad!“
    “Be ready in about ten minutes,“ Shelley said. “My cast is wet.“
    “Oh? Will that slow you down?“
    “No, I’m just complaining. I put a plastic bag around it like you said to do before showering. Taped it up with masking tape that turned out not to be waterproof. When we go out, could we stop and let me get something better to tape it with?”
    Jane was waiting in the driveway in eight minutes. She’d experimented with an old purse with a long strap, and Shelley was right that it flapped around and unbalanced her. The pockets of the baggy, much-pocketed shorts Shelley had bought her were full. Checkbook, ballpoint pen, notepad, lipstick, billfold, a box of tissues, house keys, a bag of lemon drops in case she suddenly felt weak with hunger.
    “You do look a bit like the Michelin Man,“ Shelley said, opening the car door for her. “Watch it. You just cracked my shin with that crutch. Want a boost? That step into the van is high.“
    “Sorry,“ Jane said. “Everybody in my house is afraid of me. Especially Willard the Cowardly Dog and the cats. “ She fumbled around for the seat belt to drag herself up. “I’ve accidently smacked all of them a couple times when they got underfoot, and Willard got goosed when he stepped in front of me. I think they’ve decided crutches are some sort of threshing machine and will never come near me again. Max and Meow still sleep at the foot of my bed, but when I get up to go to the bathroom at night, they scatter for shelter.”
    There were quite a few cars parked at the community center and a large bus getting ready to haul off the twenty adults who were taking a Zoo Maintenance course. A truck from a craft store was unloading some rented sewing machines and sergers for another class that was being held in the building. And a number of women wearing remarkably unflattering gymnastic clothes were waiting for their ride to an aerobic dancing studio.
    “If I ever dress like that, have me locked up,“ Jane said.
    Shelley looked her up and down. “You’re hardly better today. You’re quite lumpy. Are you packed for a three-day camp-out?“
    “Just the everyday necessities. Oh, no. I’d forgotten there were stairs.“
    “There’s a handicapped ramp around the side. I wouldn’t be caught dead with you scooting backwards on your butt.”
    There were only two people in the room when they found where they were supposed to be. One was a stocky, balding man in his early sixties, reading a magazine. The other was a rather perky-looking young man sitting behind the desk at the front. He got up when Jane and Shelley came in.
    “I was hoping more of you would come,“ he said, flashing a handsome smile. “The article in the local paper about Ms. Jackson’s accident must have made a lot of the sign-ups think the class was canceled. What did you do to your foot?“
    “I tripped on a curb, “ Jane said.
    “Oh,“ the man replied. “I’m Stefan Eckert. I’m the director of the Arts and Crafts part of the community project.“
    “You’re teaching the class?“ Shelley asked.
    “Oh, no! I’m not remotely qualified. But I’ve got a substitute. A very interesting man who just happened to be in town this week. I’m just here to catch people and assure them the class will go on. And sit in on as much of it as I can.”
    Jane introduced herself and Shelley and asked, “Do you know anything about Ms. Jackson’s condition?”
    Stefan Eckert shrugged. “I’m not family and the hospital won’t tell me a