Mulch ado about nothing

the ice bag. It’ll be okay.“
    “Not if you’ve broken something.“
    “I didn’t fall that hard. Really. I have iron bones. I’ve never broken one before.”
    Shelley sighed with exasperation. “You’re going to have to get an X ray. And there’s no point in even arguing with me. I’ll haul you bodily from that sofa if I have to.”
    Jane knew Shelley meant it. She tried to put her shoe back on, but her foot, in mere minutes, had swollen so much she couldn’t cram her foot in.
    Four hours later they returned home. Two hours had been spent waiting in the emergency room of the local hospital where most of the other patients were elderly people who seemed to regard it as a community gathering place and called cheerfully to one another. One hour had been spent waiting in a room that looked like a prison cell for the X ray to come back, and another hour for the orthopedist to explain Jane had broken the long bone at the outside of her foot and truss her up in a toes-to-knee cast. Then they had to stop at a pharmacy so Shelley could go in and buy crutches.
    “They would have given me crutches at the hospital,“ Jane said.
    “And charged your insurance about a thousand dollars. I know where to buy a pair for thirty-five dollars.“
    “How do you happen to know that?“ Jane said, staring down at her leg.
    “Had to provide some for a school play once. The kids played with them until they were in splinters. That was in the old days when they were made of wood. Remember? Your Katie and my Denise spent half of one summer seeing how far they could fling themselves by putting them way out in front and swinging forward. Here we are. I’ll come around to help you. Stay right where you are.”
    Jane managed to bash her other leg twice with the crutches just getting out of the car when they got home.
    “Don’t hang on them by your armpits, Jane. Hold the handle and barely touch the bad foot to the ground while you bring the good one forward.“
    “I wish you’d let me at least shave my leg before we went. Think how hairy it’ll be by the time this is taken off. “ She tried to follow Shelley’s instructions and lost one of the crutches, which went spinning off down the driveway.
    Shelley picked it up and patiently handed it back. “Now, with the steps—”
    Jane interrupted. “I’m not doing steps. I’m going up backwards on my butt.“
    “For several weeks?“ Shelley asked.
    “If need be. “ Jane hobbled to the bottom of the three steps up to her deck outside the kitchen and demonstrated how well she could haul herself backwards.
    “I hope you don’t have any social engagements coming up where there are stairs,“ Shelley commented.
    “Social engagements? No. I’m going to take every advantage of this and lie about looking wan and frail and ask people to bring me ginger ale and Cheez-its at regular intervals.”

Two

    “ You did call Katie and Mike, didn’t you?“ Jane asked when she was installed on the sofa in the living room.
    “All you have is Wheat Thins. No Cheez-its. Want wine or soda?“ Shelley called from the kitchen. “And yes, I called your kids. Told them not to worry. I didn’t call the soccer camp where Todd is, though, because you didn’t have the number with you.“
    “How could you tell them not to worry about me?“
    “You want them to worry?“
    “It’s their turn,“ Jane said. “I’ve been the sole worrier in this house for twenty-one years.”
    Shelley brought in a plate of crackers and cheese and a soft drink. Somewhere she’d actually found a nice little silver tray and a doily. “Where on earth did you find that?“ Jane asked, astonished.
    “In that cabinet over your refrigerator. Left over from some party or another.“
    “There’s a cabinet over my refrigerator? I’d forgotten.“
    “Get your mind off the kitchen. How can we find out what happened to Julie Jackson?“ Shelley said, sitting down in a chair next to the sofa.
    “I’ve been so obsessed with myself,“ Jane admitted, “that I’ve hardly thought about her. I hope she isn’t dead or even seriously hurt.“
    “It looked serious to me. They don’t put up crime tapes when somebody tumbles off a step stool.“
    “I was looking forward to the botany class starting Monday,“ Jane said. “I hope this was all a misunderstanding and she’ll still be teaching it. I met her at a city council meeting once when the cat-haters were yapping about laws to keep cats on leashes. She had some