Murder Deja Vu

hospital, but Dana knew he’d sought help.
    “What happened to me is similar to what happens to some men after combat.”
    “You mean Post Traumatic Stress Disorder?”
    “Something like that. For fifteen years I lived in this atmosphere of tension. I had to watch my back every minute. Some cons hated me for reasons only they knew or because hate was so intrinsic to their makeup it defined them. There were others I taught to read or taught other things, and they watched my back too. But the stress got to me.”
    He reached for the bottle of water Lana had left on each bedside table. He swished the liquid around inside his mouth and swallowed. “I went inside an educated, serious person, and I came out filled with emotions I didn’t understand. Hate and fear have a way of wrapping around you. You breathe them in the air, sleep with them while it covers you like a blanket and protects you, because if you don’t let it in, you leave yourself vulnerable. It’s the old adage come to life: If you lie down with dogs, you’ll get up with fleas.
    “I had become someone else inside. Someone I didn’t recognize and didn’t like very much. But that was how I stayed alive. Frank and the others had their own backs to worry about. They couldn’t babysit this overgrown neophyte who didn’t know his ass from his elbow, and I didn’t want them to.” He sucked in a long breath, let it out in a slow, steady stream. “Over time, I learned.”
    She saw how hard this was for him and leaned over to kiss him. Reece wasn’t violent or mean, but he’d been damaged. She knew from his closed-off manner when they first met. He’d make sure no one would hurt him again. “You did what you had to do. I don’t fault you for that.”
    He forced a smile. “I was still luckier than most. I had money and the smarts to know I had problems. I stayed there, in that place, until I had a handle on my emotions and could function on the outside.” He put his hands on her face and returned her kiss. “I’m not the person who went into prison, Dana, but I’m not the person who got out either. I want you to know that.”
    “So now I know.”
    “Sitting in that cell last week brought back some of those feelings. I thought—Christ, what if I couldn’t handle it? Then you came that morning when I was at my lowest, and you plunked yourself on my dock. One look at you and everything fell into place. I decided then I wanted to live. Not because you were in my life—I would never want you to feel that a life or death decision rested on you—but because I really wanted to. If you left me this minute, I’d still want to.”
    “I hope so,” she said, “but I’m not leaving you.” He ran his fingers through her hair, and her insides sparked. “I’m not that starry-eyed or naïve to think there won’t be problems down the line. Life is never that simple. Remember, I married once thinking I’d found my perfect man, only to realize later he was far from perfect. You found your own strength, and it had nothing to do with me. Maybe you weren’t sure you had it in you, but you did.”
    “Yeah, I feel good about that. But I need to clear myself. For me and for you.” He bit his bottom lip. “And I need to be with Frank at the end. He’d be there for me.”
    “I’ll be with you.” She straddled him. “Kiss me.” He did. Then he turned her onto her back and kissed her again. And again.

Chapter Thirty-Five
Another One Down

    R eece woke in the dark. He tiptoed around the room to avoid waking Dana. The four of them had polished off three bottles of wine the night before. Reece drank only a couple of glasses, afraid he’d be groggy when he woke. Time was running out. He couldn’t let anything stop him now. He’d call Clarence from the road, if he even got to the road. The danger was leaving the building. His picture flashed on Boston TV news and hit the front page of the papers. Dana’s too, although it clearly stated that she was allegedly with him. Good. They had no proof. Just because she wasn’t in Regal Falls didn’t mean she had taken off with a man wanted for murder.
    He stood for a moment and watched her sleep, her breathing a slow, steady rise and fall. She looked so peaceful and innocent. After they talked the night before, the wine hit her and she fell asleep in his arms as soon as she closed her eyes. In that moment, her warmth, the scent of her hair, her skin, took him to a place where nothing bad could happen.