My Butterfly
time now, and I just can’t hold onto it anymore,” she said.
I swallowed the fry and sat back in the booth.
“Remember New Year’s Eve years ago?” she asked. “The night you said that you weren’t ready for a relationship yet?”
I wished I didn’t, but unfortunately, I did remember it.
I nodded my head.
“Well, I didn’t understand until later,” she said. “I put the pieces together, and Jeff, without telling me outright, helped me fill in the holes along the way.”
She paused for a second.
“And I guess I’m just wondering if you’re ready yet,” she said.
Her eyes remained in mine. I shifted my weight in the booth and struggled to take a staggered breath and then to say something. But I had no words.
After a moment in my eyes, Jessica found the spot on the table in front of us again.
“It was Julia, wasn’t it?” she asked, so softly I almost didn’t hear her.
Her eyes turned up, and I met her gaze again.
“The girl on your dashboard and the girl from the party,” she said. “And she was the one at your ceremony and with you in the hospital that day—that was her, wasn’t it?”
I swallowed hard. All the things I thought she hadn’t seen, she had.
I lowered my head and then slowly nodded. Then, I heard her softly clearing her throat.
“It still is, isn’t it?” she asked.
I gradually looked up and met her eyes. Then, I nodded a second time.
“Do you think she’ll come back?” she asked.
I sat there motionless for a moment. That question always made my heart sink. Eventually, though, I shrugged my shoulders.
“I don’t know,” I said, shaking my head.
I watched a sad smile form on her lips.
“You must really love her,” she said.
I took a deep breath and then slowly nodded my head once again.
“I do,” I simply said.
...
I paid the bill and walked Jessica to her car a block over from the diner. I waited as she unlocked the door and slid behind the steering wheel. There were tears in her eyes. I hopelessly watched as she tried to wipe them away with the back of her hand.
This was all my fault. If I could go back and change that night and the days that led up to it, I would. I would do everything differently.
“I’m sorry, Jessica,” I said. “I never meant…”
She waved her hand and stopped me short.
“It was worth a shot,” she said, smiling up at me. “But I should have known that I couldn’t compete with her memory.”
She paused for a moment then before she spoke again. I could still see the tears in her eyes.
“Take care, Will,” she said.
I gently smiled. Then, I watched as she planted her eyes straight ahead and then pulled away.
The walk back to Lou was full of thoughts, but there was only one of those thoughts I just couldn’t shake.
Once I was back inside my truck, I let out a deep sigh and then stared into the steering wheel.
What was I doing?
I was waiting. I was waiting for Jules, on her own time, to realize that she still loved me. Damn, that sounds crazy. But, somehow, I truly believed that she still did, and that in time, she would realize it. Does that make me crazy?
If she could just set aside everything that came with life for just one moment, I believed that she would see what I see. If she could just hear the song—if I could just get the song to her ears—maybe she would stop and remember us. Maybe .
I broke my stare from the steering wheel and anxiously started searching for my phone in the pocket of my jeans. My heart was racing by the time my fingers touched its rounded edge. I quickly pulled it out and glanced at its screen. Then, I rested a finger on the second number. I held it there for long, drawn-out moments before I just simply couldn’t take it any longer, and I sent the phone dialing her digits.
Another second went by before I slowly brought the phone to my ear and took a deep breath and held it hostage inside my lungs. Then, when I heard the first ring, I allowed the breath to steadily escape past my lips. There was a second ring, and my heart sank lower. A third ring rattled through the phone, and my mind prepared for the message I would most likely have to leave. And after another ring, I heard a recording of her sweet voice pick up. Then, all too soon, I heard the screeching sound of the beep, and I froze. I didn’t know if a second had gone by or four or five when my eyes finally fell shut and my mouth opened.
“Julia, I love you,” I said into the phone.
Long moments ambled
Weitere Kostenlose Bücher