My Secret Lover

the
simple chords of an acoustic guitar, aren't you? L
     
    I suppose so. A
     
    Where? A
     
    Where you are. L
     
    I'm in a hotel at the moment, so
wouldn't be very practical. A
     
    Blimey! No wonder you need my £2 per
month. L
     
    Are you talking about the licence? A
     
    I'm talking about overheads. Monthly
direct debits. It may not be your specific charity, but the principle applies.
L
     
    I am not a charity worker. 3. A
     
    Sorry. I know they're called aid
agencies now. L
     
    No. I'm not an aid worker either. 2.
A
     
    Oh. But you do something important? L
    I used to think so. Now I'm not sure
whether it is or not, or whether I'm actually making any difference. You've got
2 questions left. A
     
    I think I've probably drunk a bit too
much champagne. I shall go to bed now. L
     
    Hope you're not disappointed. A
     
    Good night. L
     
    Good night. A XXXXXXXXX

48
     
    Wun sopon a time thair wos a prinses in a tawr watin for prins he
wos lat sudenly monster giv her a frite and ate prinses the end.
     
    It’s short, but Nicole has remembered
to put a capital at the beginning and a full stop at the end, even though her
sentence structure has got a bit lost in the middle. She’s also used some of
the joining words I wrote on the whiteboard. Best of all are the illustrations.
I especially like the fact that the princess is wearing a great big watch which
she seems to be looking at impatiently, and the violence is implicit rather
than stated, since in the second picture, the monster has got blood dripping
from his smiling teeth.
    I don’t know what a child psychologist
would make of it, but I write, ‘Well done! What a scary monster!’
     
    I do love my job, even though it’s
half term and marking their stories is technically work.
     
    One of the children I have taught may
win the Booker Prize one day. I don’t think Nicole, actually, but who knows? In
the interview afterwards, when the presenter asks them what made them start
writing, they’ll think of me, even if they don’t realize they are, even if they
don’t actually mention me on air.
     
    In a deep dark toom in anshunt eegit lived the mummy. People tried
to steel his trezer so he kill them. Then he turn into sand then flyed away.
The End.
     
    This one hasn’t got a name on it, but
it has to be Dean’s. It’s actually a well-constructed story with an atmospheric
beginning, a pacy plot and a conclusion of sorts.
    I write ‘Excellent. Some very good
punctuation.’ I put a Well Done sticker on too.
     
    We need to do a little more work on
endings.
     
    On my television screen, a carriage
so ornate and golden it could only have been magicked from a pumpkin, is
trundling down the Mall.
    Two million subjects are waving flags
at the Queen. I had expected the Jubilee to be more Emperor’s New Clothes than
Cinderella, but I have misjudged the mood. There are so many people in the
Mall, I almost wish I had gone down myself to be part of history being made.
     
    * * *
     
    My mouse glides over:
    Cometh the Hour. England v Argentina
    and:
    US Envoy "optimistic"
     
    There are no new messages in my
Inbox.
     
    *
     
    Click on REPLY.
     
    I know what you mean about making a
difference, doing something meaningful, sort of thing. I was all for Cycling
Cuba for the Deaf last year until Michelle pointed out that my bike hadn't been
out of my mother's lean-to since I got a puncture in the fifth form.
    Do you ever feel that you're living
in history? Like right now, we're at a turning point. It's almost like there's
these scales, and on one side there's Really Serious Things, and on the other
there's Trivia. The End of the World in Nuclear Conflict kind of balanced
against the Jubilee, but now there's the World Cup too and it's tipping towards
Trivia. Is this what newspapers mean when they talk about The End of History? L
     
    I thought you weren't deep. A
     
    I'm on half term. Lots of time to
think. L
     
    Not so aware of the Jubilee here, but
I know what you're saying. At least your job is important. A
     
    Nice of you to say so. Teachers don't
get a very good press. L
     
    I would have loved a teacher like
you. A
     
    A lot of people say that to me, but I
only got one 'good' in my Ofsted. The others were all 'average'. L
     
    But the children must love you. How
is the baby, by the way? A
     
    He's fine. Chandler Joe. I wasn't
keen on the name at first, but now I can't imagine him called anything else.
What I like best is the way he sleeps with his arms