My Secret Lover

above his head, like he's
stretching out after having been curled up all that time. L
     
    Bet you can't wait to have one of
your own. A
     
    Who in their right mind would want to
bring a child into this world? L
     
    I know what you're saying, but I
thought, well, never mind. A
     
    I have to go, actually. It's the match.
Aren't you watching? L
     
    Can't get the match here. A
     
    Where on earth are you? L

Endings

49
     
    Am I happy?
    I have an England flag attached to
the aerial of my car, a house with a widescreen television, and England beat Argentina!
    Of course I’m happy. Everyone’s happy!
    I think I am in love with David
Beckham.
    His smile when he converted that
penalty just looked like pure happiness.
    Feel slightly disloyal to Gary, but still always watch BBC when there’s a choice. The late-night highlights and
pundits show on ITV is actually rather addictive too.
     
    And the immediate threat of nuclear
annihilation seems to have receded.
     
    The car behind is beeping me.
    Oh F off your F-ing... Here we go,
here we go, here we go!
    He’s got an England flag too!
     
    ‘Did anyone do anything interesting
over half term they’d like to tell us about? Yes, Robbie?’
    ‘Watched the World Cup, Miss.’
    ‘Did anyone else watch it?’
    It’s the first time I have seen the
whole class with their hands in the air.
    ‘Wasn’t it great? When Beckham ran up
to take that penalty were you all really scared? God, I was, my heart was
really thumping and then it was like YES!’ We all cheer.
    ‘Everything all right, Miss Blane?’
    ‘Yes, thank you, Miss Goodman.’
    Probably not the best time to ask her
whether we can watch England v Nigeria during the literacy hour tomorrow
morning.
    ‘Did anyone watch the Jubilee? Geri?’
    ‘I saw S Club, but my mum made me go
to bed after that.’
    ‘Did anyone see the golden carriage
with all the horses?’
    Blank faces.
    I can’t have made it up, can I? Or
dreamt it?
    ‘There was something I enjoyed even
more than the football. Can anyone guess what it was?’
    ‘Sex, Miss?’ says Dean.
    He’s heard his older brothers saying
it, and he doesn’t really know what it means.
    ‘It was reading your stories.’
    Beaming smiles all round.
     
    ‘Good half term?’ asks Richard Batty,
selecting a prawn salad.
    ‘Very.’
    ‘Anything special?’
    ‘Apart from England beating Argentina and the world pulling back from nuclear war? Is New Andy in today?’
    ‘Don’t think so.’
    ‘I thought I saw him at break.
Wearing a suit.’
    ‘New Andy wearing a suit? I don’t
think so.’
    I take a bite of my Mexican Chicken
Wrap. Is it just me, or do wraps always taste as if they haven’t been cooked?
    ‘As a matter of fact, I have a new
godson,’ I tell Richard.
    ‘Congratulations! ’
    ‘Chandler Joe.’
    ‘Chandler Joe?’
    ‘Yes, that’s what I thought at first,
but it grows on you.’
    ‘Both well?’
    ‘Yes, thank you. Well, Chandler has a touch of jaundice, but sunshine helps. I’ve found a sunny spot on a fire
escape where I’m not in anyone’s way. Michaela says she can only relax when I’m
around because Adam wakes her up every time Chandler even blinks, and Michelle
would just as easily forget she’s meant to be looking after him the mood she’s
in. She thinks he likes me better than her, but she absolutely freezes when
Michaela calls her Granny, and I think Chandler’s picked up on that. He’s a
very intelligent little boy
    Richard’s nodding, but his usually
patient eyes are beginning to glaze.
    ‘I bet you’re looking forward to
having one of your own,’ he says.
    ‘I’m so not “The Prime of Miss Jean
Brodie”,’ I say.
    ‘What does that mean?’ he asks.
    ‘Just because I’m in my mid thirties,
and I’m a teacher, doesn’t mean I’m hankering after children, OK?’
    ‘I just assumed, what with you
getting married he stutters.
    ‘Well, you assumed wrong. And I’m not
eating this. It’s raw,’ I add, as if it’s his fault.
     
    *
     
    ‘Who would like to read out their
story? Thank you, Ethan.’
    He takes a huge breath and says, all
in one go: ‘One morning a baby owl woke up in his tree and his mummy and
daddy had flied away. He ate some flies for his breakfast and then a cat come
up the tree and he jumped off the branch and he couldn’t fly and then he woke
up and it was all a dream.’
    He breathes again.
    Must have a word with his father.
    ‘That’s a very good story, Ethan. And
it has a very good