Naked Hero - The Journey Away

all settled in his mind. I think you should have a word with him. Whatever it is, he needs some help at the moment.”
    Lewis was in his room, going over again what Scott had said to him. It didn’t seem real: his idol was gay! Well, he hadn’t quite said that. The G word was never actually used. Given that he’d been married and had screwed other women, bi-sexual was probably the better term. But whatever! Scott had said that he wanted him – to test the waters at least. He said that they should try and work something out... and that was admission enough.
    Gay, bi-sexual, a little bit curious – Lewis didn’t give a toss what name you gave it, as long as he had Scott breaking a sweat in his bed and giving it his All-American best. But whilst he had expressed a desire and admitted to his feelings, Scott wasn’t ready to admit it to anyone else – not yet at any rate. Thinking this through, Lewis could see the sense - it was a safe approach, that’s for certain, and one that was probably for the best. Lewis hadn’t taken it all in at the time, but he recalled enough about what Scott had said: aging parents who were deeply religious; the perception of friends; the publicity it would cause; he needed to be sure; it was a very big step.
    Yes it was a big step! Lewis knew that as he’d already taken it. He understood and agreed to an extent, but what he wasn’t too happy about was taking a step backwards and ret urning to a closet by keeping the relationship secret if things got that far. That was a hefty price to pay, but surely Scott was worth it. He was certainly worth playing along with for a while – at least for a few days, weeks, or even months, as Scott tested out the waters, hopefully time and time again! But for how long would Lewis be prepared to live the lie?
    He knew he shouldn’t be worrying about it . The smart thing to do was shelve it away, compartmentalised until after the final - then they could work it all through whilst hopefully shagging like rabbits! That seemed like a reasonable short term plan. So he put it away, put all the problems in a box... but still something wasn’t right.
    It was a persistent little bugger - that nagging doubt which had hit him last night - a sense of unease about another man, which wasn’t fair. Lee certainly wouldn’t have had any such concerns when it came to him having some fun. That needed sorting - and the sooner the better. But just as with Scott, it would have to wait until after the final.
    There was a rap on his door. “Lewis! Are you up for a chat before we head off to the courts?” shouted his coach.
    “Aye, Jim, come on in.”
    Jim found him lying on his bed with his hands behind his head, staring at the ceiling in a reflective mood.
    “Are you okay, Lewis?” asked Jim. “You’ve been a bit quiet this morning.”
    “Big day tomorrow, mate - there’s a lot to think about. There’ll be enough talking to do later, I suppose.”
    “Aye, we’ll go through it all with Scott again when we meet up this afternoon. You no doubt came up with a few ideas last night.”
    “Oh aye, he left me with plenty of ideas, Jim... I can assure you of that!” replied Lewis with a chuckle; then turning serious again he added, “It was a bit odd, though, not having you there. Is that what you really want - to back off and leave it to Scott from now on?”
    “He spoke to you about it then?” quizzed Jim, knowing fine well that this would have been the case.
    “It would have been better coming from you, Jim. Why didn’t you tell me yourself that you want to leave me?”
    “He shouldn’t have said that, Lewis!”
    Jim was seriously annoyed, and thought he now fully understood the reason behind Lewis’s sullenness. He had agreed with Scott that continuing the involvement could be mentioned, but no more. Put the boy’s mind at rest, clarify the immediate future - not raise question marks over the longer term. But it was done now, so he needed to put things into perspective. He sat down on the edge of the bed before setting out to repair the damage.
    “I’m not going to leave you, Lewis, not in the way you mean,” said Jim patting the lad on the shoulder. “I’ll always be there for you if you need me. But it’s time now for you to move on. There’s more to come from you yet, and it needs someone else to bring it out of you. If I thought that I could do it, then I would, but I can’t. Scott is the ideal man for the job, do you not