Never Forget (Memories)

any chance of me walking towards you when I found out you'd kept this from me."
    I turn and begin to run across the sand, away from him, away from the pain.
    "I love you!" he shouts. "I didn't tell you because there isn't a single part of me that could bear to see the pain in your eyes that's there now! I couldn't deal with the thought of tears coming from those pretty little eyes! But I guess it's karma I should fuck everything up with the one girl I've only ever wanted, right?"
    He's right behind me now and I stop. The tears are falling quickly, burning pathways along my cheeks, reminding me of his betrayal.
    Reminding me how he's broken my heart, like I always knew he would.
    "I love you," he repeats quieter. "It wasn't exactly how I wanted to tell you how I feel, but I've said it now."
    I can't turn to look at him because I know if I do, I'll collapse into his arms and I.. I can't do that.
    Instead I whisper, "You don't keep secrets from the person you love."
    A sob rips free from my chest and I sprint across the beach.
    Away from him.
    But not away from the breaking of my heart.
    I can't escape that.

    ~

    The cottage is empty as I reach it. I slam the front door behind me and lean against it, sliding slowly to the floor.
    My heart is shattered. I can feel tiny pieces of it flowing through my blood, racking my body with pain. There isn't a part of me not affected by today. It's all I feel, all I think, all I know.
    Tears fall from my eyes hard and fast, my chest rising and falling frantically with every breath.
    I can't think-
    I can't speak-
    I can only cry.
    My world has been tipped upside down, it's spinning on its own axis.
I'm broken. Alec has broken my heart, just like I always knew he would.
    I was stupid to listen to him-
    stupid to believe in him-
    stupid to fall in love with him.
    "Princess, let me explain!" Alec bangs on the front door and it shakes me. I ignore him. I can't deal with him.
    I don't want to see him.
    "I know you're there, Princess. I can see you sat behind the door. Please, baby, let me talk to you."
    "I don't want to talk to you!" I shout through my tears. "Leave me alone!"
    "Princess, please." He's begging now.
    I want him to hold me. I want him to stroke my hair and take away the pain. I want him to kiss the tears from my eyes and promise me it'll be okay.
    And I hate myself for it.
    I hate that I still want him. I hate that I have to fight myself not to open the front door and collapse into his waiting arms.
    "No, Alec," I say through my tears. "Leave me alone."
    "I'm not going anywhere."
    "Then you'll be there a long time." My head falls into my arms and another sob escapes me.
    First Grammy, now Alec.
    I don't know if I'll ever be whole again.

    ALEC

    I could kick myself.
    The moment I saw the light leave her eyes I knew I'd fucked up. I should have persuaded Vi to tell her weeks ago, but then it's not really the kind of thing you drop into a conversation is it?
    I can hear her crying through the door. I feel helpless. I want to go to her, hold her, beg her to forgive me for keeping it from her. But I know she won't take it.
    She's too strong, too independent. She's too damn stubborn.
    But it's my fault, and only my fault. My own heart is clenching inside my chest and I rest my forehead against the door. I wish I could break through it. I wish I could reach for her and tuck her head under my chin.
    I wish I could take everything back.
    Except the I love you.
    I'll never take that back.
    I bang on the door again. ''I'm not going anywhere!''
    ''Then you'll be there for a long time!'' she calls back, her voice thick and heartbroken.
    She's sobbing. Actually sobbing, great big heart wrenching sobs. My whole body tenses and I snap my eyes shut, holding them closed. My jaw clenches and I'm mad.
    I'm angry. At myself, because it's my fucking fault.
    I said I wasn't going anywhere. I lied. Again. I lied to her again.
    I can't stay here, listening to her like that when she should be in my arms, crying into my shoulder, not fucking crying because of me. I should be wiping those tears and kissing the corners of her eyes.
    Fuck. My chest tightens and I knock my fist against the door.
    ''Fine,'' I shout. ''Fine, you win, Lexy.''
    I run my fingers through my hair and storm down the path to my car. I climb in, slamming the door and head back to the beach.

    ~

    ALEXIS

    Bing knocks on my door tentatively and I lift my head from my pillow slightly.
    "Yeah?" My voice is thick with unshed