One Tiny Lie A Novel

if I’m hurt. I hear the slightest exhale, and then he takes a few steps backward. “See you around.”
    I offer him a tiny nod and a tight-lipped smile. Inside, I’m screaming at the top of my lungs, “Not a chance in hell!”

    “Dammit,” I mutter, arriving at the rendezvous location for the tour ten minutes late. I glance around but see nothing that resembles a tour group. They’re gone, off to learn about the historical significance of this foremost college, and I am stuck here, replaying the entire conversation with Ashton over and over again. Each time, those words—his words—suspend in my thoughts.
    I regret it.
    He regrets me. The man whore regrets messing around with me. Enough to track me down and ask that I not tell anyone. He even felt bad when he let that fact slip. That’s what that cringe was.
    It was one thing when I was regretting him . I mean, I did something stupid and completely out of character. I gave away a whole pile of firsts to a guy I don’t even know. Who’s probably had a hundred drunken one-night flings that went farther than the one the other night did with me.
    Who regrets me.
    I take a seat on the steps and stare vacantly down at my hands. Every rational bone in my body is telling me to stop thinking about it, but I can’t. I swallow several times, but the dryness in my throat won’t abate as I run through all the reasons why Ashton might regret me. Does he find me that unattractive? Was waking up on Sunday one of those “coyote ugly” mornings Kacey always talks about? I know I must have looked terrible, with my hair a wild rat’s nest and my eyes bloodshot and my breath harsh enough to wilt daisies.
    Maybe it was my “skill level”? I sure as hell know I’m not experienced, but . . . was I that bad?
    I’m so wrapped up in trying to comfort my ego that when I hear a guy say “excuse me” nearby, I keep my focus on the ground, dismissing him entirely, hoping he’s talking to someone else. His next words, though—not so much the words but how he says them—make my head snap up, searching for the owner.
    “Are you okay?”
    I know my mouth is hanging open as I watch him take a seat next to me on the step, but I don’t care. I just nod in awe as I stare at the deep green eyes and pleasant smile.
    “Are you sure?” he asks with a soft chuckle. His chuckle is just as pleasant as his smile.
    “Are you from Ireland?” I blurt out before I’m able to control it. Closing my eyes, I try to explain myself by stumbling over my words. “I mean . . . I thought . . . you have an accent . . . you sound Irish.” And you sound like a moron, Livie.
    “I’m Connor,” he says. “And I am. I’m originally from—”
    “Dublin,” I interrupt as a bubble of excitement grows inside me.
    He nods once, beaming as if pleased. “I moved to America when I was twelve.”
    My grin widens. I can’t stop. I must look like an idiot.
    “And do you have a name, miss? Or should I just call you Smiley?”
    “Oh, yes, right.” I purse my lips to get my face under control and I thrust out my hand. “Livie Cleary.”
    His eyebrow shoots up as he accepts my hand. His is warm and strong and . . .comfortable.
    “My dad grew up in Dublin. Your accent . . . you sound like him.” My dad had moved to America when he was thirteen, so he’d lost the thickness of the brogue, but it was still there, slipping in and out of his words gracefully. Just like Connor’s.
    “You mean your dad is charming and smart as well?”
    I giggle as I drop my gaze momentarily, biting my tongue before I accidentally correct him with the past tense. Was charming and smart. Two minutes into a conversation isn’t exactly the time to be bringing up my dead parents.
    There’s an easy silence between us and then Connor asks, “And why are you sitting here, all by yourself, Miss Cleary?”
    I wave a dismissive hand in the air. “Oh, I was supposed to take the historical tour but I missed it. I got delayed with . . .” My thoughts drift back to my previous conversation, taking a part of my comfort with it. “An asshole,” I mutter absently.
    Connor does a quick scan around us and asks with a smile. “Is the asshole still around?”
    I feel my face turning red. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.” Ever since that week when Stayner made me inject a variety of swear words—of my sister’s choosing—in every sentence that came out of my mouth, I’ve found my vocabulary