Only 06 - Winter Fire

died.
    â€œSorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to bring back bad memories.”
    â€œI’m used to them.”
    â€œSometimes that doesn’t make them any easier.”
    â€œNo, sometimes it doesn’t,” she said matter-of-factly, meeting his glance. “Those are the bad times.”
    His breath caught. Looking into her eyes right now was like looking into a mirror—beneath the surface there were shadows of horror and grief, rage and pain.
    Yet on the surface, nothing.
    Nothing at all.
    It told Case that Sarah had been as deeply hurt by lifeas he had. Yet she hadn’t turned her back on emotion in order to survive.
    How did she learn to laugh again? he wondered.
    Then came a question he had never asked himself.
    Why?
    Why did she open herself up to more grief?
    Laughter and hope and love…The road to hell is paved with them .
    He had vowed never to return to that agonizing hell. He nearly hadn’t survived the first time through.
    Sarah isn’t stupid. Surely she knows the pain that feelings cause as well as I do .
    And yet she smiles, she laughs, she cries .
    She even loves .
    That’s why Ute thinks she’s an angel. Despite everything, she allows herself to care .
    Her reckless courage was breathtaking.
    â€œWhen did you first see those coins?” Case asked abruptly, uneasy with his own thoughts.
    She accepted the change of subject with a relief that didn’t show in her expression.
    â€œAfter Hal died,” she said.
    â€œWhere did you find them?”
    â€œIn a tobacco pouch in his jacket pocket.”
    â€œDo you think he found the silver just before he died?”
    For a time Sarah didn’t answer. The rhythmic noise of the horses’ hooves, the cry of a startled bird, and the restless wind were the only sounds.
    â€œNo,” she said finally.
    â€œWhy?”
    â€œHe was on his way out to prospect rather than coming back to the ranch.”
    Case looked thoughtful.
    â€œWhere did your husband die?”
    â€œI don’t know.”
    â€œYou said Conner tracked him.”
    â€œMy brother was twelve years old and on foot,” shesaid. “He had never been away from the cabin without me. If Hal’s horse hadn’t known the way home…”
    Her voice faded. She shook her head without finishing the sentence.
    Case started to ask what Conner had been doing out on foot alone, but the look on Sarah’s face stopped him like a wall.
    â€œI backtracked the horse as far as I could,” she said. “But it was raining like the sea turned upside down. Every ravine was full of water. Lost River was a muddy flood too wide and deep and dangerous to ride alongside, much less cross.”
    â€œSo the tracks washed away.”
    â€œYes.”
    â€œThen what’s the point of continuing the search?” he asked. “What are you looking for now?”
    â€œJust what I said I was. Ruins and red pillars and a narrow canyon. That’s all Conner remembers.”
    â€œHow many places within a day’s ride fit that description?”
    â€œI don’t know.”
    â€œGuess.”
    â€œHundreds.”
    He grunted. “How many have you searched?”
    â€œHow many did we pass on the way here?” she asked sardonically.
    What she didn’t say was that there was one canyon she was dreading searching, but she didn’t know just which one it was.
    She hoped she never would. The thought of stumbling over her husband’s bones made her cold.
    Conner , she thought helplessly. How can I ever repay you? How can I ever make it up to you?
    â€œNo wonder you don’t have enough firewood, much less a tight cabin,” Case said. “You’ve been too busy chasing foolish hopes of silver.”
    â€œThat’s my business.”
    â€œNot when I have to watch you shiver with cold every morning,” he said flatly.
    When she ignored him, he went back to searching the sides of the canyon. Silver skeletons of piñon, big sage, and juniper stood against the rusty cliffs. Pine logs washed down by past floods lay scattered about. A lot of the wood was still solid enough to make a hot fire.
    â€œNext time we’ll bring packhorses,” he said. “We can collect firewood while we look for dead men’s silver.”
    â€œNext time I’ll bring Conner. He doesn’t complain every step of the way.”
    â€œLike hell you will.”
    She turned sharply