Pictures of Lily

spoken to you first, sir, so sorry about that, but I’ve asked Lily to marry me.’
    Squeal from Lorraine.
    ‘And she said yes.’
    ‘Aah, congratulations!’ Dad gets up and comes around to shake Richard’s hand while Lorraine leaps to her feet to give me a kiss and a hug.
    ‘I can’t believe you kept that quiet all weekend!’
    ‘Neither can I,’ I cry, aware of the irony that it’s the absolute truth.
    Kay, Olivia and Isabel, bless them, stay seated, as children usually do when adults are jumping around with excitement.
    I sit down again and try to keep smiling.
    ‘So when’s the big day?’ Lorraine asks with obvious delight.
    ‘Probably the year after next,’ I reply.
    ‘That’s good,’ Dad says. ‘That will give us plenty of time to save up again.’
    ‘Great. We’re thinking a summer wedding, too, so you’ll be able to come over when it’s nice and hot,’ Richard tells him.
    ‘That’d be great,’ Kay pipes up.
    ‘And is your dad going to give you away?’ Lorraine pries happily.
    ‘Of course,’ I say.
    Dad beams, Lorraine rubs him on his arm and underneath the table, Richard squeezes my hand – and I feel like the biggest bitch in the world.

Chapter 24
     
    This is what it must have been like for Ben, feeling like there was no way back once the wedding preparations got underway. The last week has been hell. Lorraine has insisted on taking me wedding-dress shopping. She’s adamant that she and Dad will pay for the meringue, and her biggest desire is to get me fitted out and ready to go before they head back to the UK at the weekend.
    I’m dragging my heels, telling her the wedding is so far away that I don’t want to make a decision yet, but she persists with the endless shopping trips. She’s met me for two lunches alone this week so we can exhaust more bridal shops. It’s killing me.
    Of course, at work, Nicola thinks it’s marvellous. She’s delighted I’m getting into the ‘swing of things’, as she puts it. And when Lorraine is off the scene, I know I’m in for even more torture.
    I haven’t seen Ben since the fishing trip. I texted him a few days ago to say things were manic with my family. When I’m at work the urge to be with him is overwhelming. But somehow, when I’m at home with Richard, I manage to put him out of my mind.
    Mostly.
    Yesterday I got my photos developed. I couldn’t concentrate on the shots I’d taken over the last couple of weeks because I was so jittery about seeing the one of Ben on the boat. My heart stopped when I finally came to it in the pack. He looked so gorgeous. He had only a slight smile on his face because I hadn’t given him time to pose, but his blue eyes stood out against the grey sea behind him. It was perfect.
    In a half-wakeful state this morning, I dreamt that we were in the cabin of his boat together . . . Then Richard rolled up against me with a morning stiffie and I could not help it. I couldn’t.
    After I’d come down from a mindblowing orgasm, Richard chuckled. ‘Is it your randy time of the month or something?’ he asked.
    ‘Must be,’ I replied, getting out of bed and going to the bathroom with a red face. I sat on the toilet with my chin in my hands. I’d imagined it was Ben the entire time. I hated myself.
    And now here I am at work, sitting alongside Mel and trying to concentrate.
    ‘She’s got that far-off look in her eyes again,’ Mel says, grinning.
    ‘More wedding-dress shopping this week?’ Nicola enquires.
    ‘Not if I can help it,’ I shudder.
    My family are going to the Snowy Mountains, which are about a five-hour drive from Sydney. They’re staying there for a couple of days so I’m not seeing them again until Thursday. Which means that for the next couple of days, I have free lunchbreaks.
    I need to see him.
    I push my stool out from under the desk, saying, ‘Anyone for tea?’
    ‘Are you making it?’ Mel asks dryly.
    ‘I do make tea occasionally, you know.’
    ‘No, thanks. I’m going to pop out for a coffee in a minute,’ Nicola tells me.
    ‘I’m alright, too,’ Mel says. ‘I’ve only just finished the last cup. What’s up with you? Not pregnant, are you?’
    ‘No!’ I exclaim. ‘Why would you say that?’
    ‘Cravings?’
    ‘Please, stop. There is no way I’m having a kid anytime soon.’
    ‘Give it two years.’ Nicola nudges Mel. ‘Honeymoon baby, that’s what I reckon.’
    I roll my eyes and walk away, my fingers clutching the phone I surreptitiously pulled