Pictures of Lily

screeches away from the kerb. I stare after him in horror. What have I done? Please don’t let him kill himself! But as suddenly as he started, he stops again, slamming on the brakes so they glow red in the darkness. I run after him and open the door. I can’t believe my eyes when I see him sobbing his heart out over the steering wheel. I quickly climb in and shut the door, reaching over to rub his back. He shrugs me off, but only half-heartedly, so I continue to stroke him soothingly.
    ‘I’m sorry,’ I whisper. ‘I’m really so, so sorry.’
    He cries harder. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a boy cry before. Dan had a tear in his eye when I dragged him to see Cruel Intentions last summer, but that’s hardly the same thing. I have no idea what to do in this situation.
    ‘I’m sorry I said those things,’ I try, when his sobs begin to quieten. ‘I should have kept my mouth shut.’
    He shakes his head tearfully. ‘No, it’s okay. She would have hated it.’
    ‘Why do you do it, then?’
    ‘I don’t know.’
    ‘Hasn’t Michael told you to stop?’
    ‘He’s too caught up in your mum to notice what I get up to.’
    ‘That’s not true. He loves you. He adores you. Anyone can see that.’
    Josh doesn’t answer. He knows deep down that it’s true.
    ‘You can be careful from now on,’ I say. ‘You’ll never have to live with a terrible mistake.’
    ‘Or not live.’ He manages a weak smile.
    ‘Your dad would be devastated if he lost you, too. He’d never recover.’
    Josh nods sadly. ‘I know.’
    ‘So. Taxis from now on?’ I smile at him hopefully and he offers me a weak one back.
    ‘Guess so.’
    ‘She would be proud of you.’
    ‘Don’t say that,’ he warns. ‘I’ll start crying again.’ And right on cue his eyes fill with tears. He brushes them away angrily. ‘Don’t you ever tell Shane I did this.’
    I laugh with indignation. ‘As if I would!’
    ‘Not even when you’re snuggled up in bed with him.’
    I lift my hand to whack him on the back with it, but he laughs and puts the car into gear. ‘Joke. I’ll tell him you’re off-limits,’ he says as he does a swift U-turn and drives along to pull up outside the house.
    I breathe a sigh of relief. ‘That’d be good. I don’t need any more complications in my life right now.’
    He exhales dramatically and gives me a teasing grin. ‘Even I’m not going to be able to get you in the sack after you’ve seen me crying like a baby.’
    ‘You wouldn’t have been able to get me into the sack anyway, darling,’ I say silkily. ‘You’re not my type.’
    We both laugh and climb out of the car, peace restored.

Chapter 10
     
    ‘You know, I can handle it myself,’ is the first thing I say to Ben when I see him the following morning.
    ‘You looked like you were about to give in,’ he replies crossly, referring to the no-drinking argument I had with Josh at dinner last night.
    ‘I wasn’t,’ I state with force, and tell my inner self to shut up. He doesn’t need to know what went on after he left.
    ‘Good,’ is all he says before stalking out of the hospital room.
    I don’t see him again that morning because he’s covering for one of Michael’s colleagues on the dingoes and Tasmanian Devils. At lunchtime I wander down the slope past the café, trying not to think about how many lunch-breaks Ben must have spent getting to know Charlotte when she worked there. I sit alone on the grass and stare up at the big old gum with its grated tree bark. I’m strangely unsurprised when Ben sits on the grass beside me. He doesn’t look at me, preferring instead to gaze ahead at the tree trunk while I study his profile. His jaw is clenched.
    ‘I don’t know why I feel . . . so protective of you,’ he muses after a while.
    I pick up a dead leaf and crackle it between my fingers, waiting for him to speak.
    ‘I hate the idea of Josh taking advantage of you.’
    ‘Are you referring to his drink-driving or something else?’ I ask. He doesn’t answer. ‘I’m not interested in him,’ I say. ‘For the record. Although why it should bother you if I were is beyond me,’ I add, glancing at him.
    He steadfastly avoids my eyes. I sigh and lean back on my elbows, crossing my legs in front of me. He lays his head back on the grass and closes his eyes.
    ‘I’ll have to give you another driving lesson before I go.’
    ‘That’d be good.’ I take this opportunity to stare uninterrupted at his profile. It’s so hot that a