Pictures of Lily

him might fall flat on its face. Richard’s here. He wants to marry me. He’s not going anywhere. But Ben . . . I need to know him better before I can make any decisions about my future.
    I get out a cotton pad from the bathroom cabinet, soak it with make-up remover and proceed to take off my make-up.
    So that’s what I’m going to have to do. Spend some time with Ben; see if he’s all I cracked him up to be. It might be that my decision in the end is easy.
    I throw the pad into the bin and cleanse the rest of my face before applying moisturiser.
    Then again, I might be about to make things harder than I could ever imagine . . .
    Don’t think about that now. Put it out of your mind. It will all be okay. It will all work out for the best.
    I close the bathroom cabinet, coming face to face with my reflection again. Suddenly I don’t feel so sure.

Chapter 23
     
    I’m awake for hours that night. It’s hardly surprising. If I manage to doze off, bad dreams soon drag me kicking and screaming to consciousness and then my thought process starts ticking over and I haven’t a chance in hell of falling asleep again for a long, long time. When the phone rings, pulling me out of a long-desired slumber, I snatch it up and jolt awake as I spot the time.
    ‘Dad?’
    ‘No, it’s me.’ Richard.
    ‘I thought it was my dad.’
    ‘So I figured.’ I can hear the smile in his voice.
    ‘What’s the time?’
    ‘Ten o’clock. You sound croaky. Were you out late?’
    ‘Not really.’ I clear my throat. ‘I didn’t sleep well.’
    ‘Missing me.’
    ‘Huh. Guess so.’ Silence. ‘How are you?’
    ‘Good. Thought I’d better give you a call, check up on you.’
    ‘All’s fine here.’ I try to sound breezy. ‘How’s the surf?’
    ‘Great. Already been out this morning.’
    ‘Everyone having fun?’
    ‘Yeah. But you’re missed.’
    ‘Am I?’
    ‘Of course. So how’s your dad and everyone?’
    ‘Really good. We went to the zoo yesterday.’ Was it really only yesterday?
    ‘That’s nice.’
    ‘I’m glad you woke me up actually, as they’ll be wondering where I am.’ I was planning on going over to them for breakfast again this morning. Bollocks. ‘I’d better go,’ I say to Richard.
    ‘Okay, honey,’ he says sweetly. ‘Have a good day with them and I’ll see you Monday arvo.’
    ‘What time will you be back?’ I can’t miss lunch with Ben.
    ‘Late afternoon. I’ll give you a call when we’re on our way.’
    ‘Alright.’
    ‘Love you.’
    ‘You too.’ I wait for him to hang up before I put down the receiver. Oh, God . . .
    As the day wears on, the night before seems more and more surreal. Sometimes I remember with a sharpness of clarity what it was like being in Ben’s arms on the ferry, and then I shiver and I can’t concentrate on what my dad or my sisters are saying to me. But mostly it’s like a dream. I can’t believe I saw him only hours ago.
    That night when I get home I feel nervous. The thought of phoning Ben is hanging over me. I don’t know if I should call him tonight or wait until the morning. I feel strangely uneasy with the thought of either.
    Eventually it’s ten p.m. and my decision is almost made. Won’t it be too late to call him now? I remember turning up at his house the night Josh killed the koala. It was midnight and he’d been on the phone to Charlotte . . .
    I reach for my mobile phone on the bedside table and find his number in my recent calls menu. I press the call button. It rings three times.
    ‘Hello?’
    ‘It’s Lily.’
    ‘Hi!’
    ‘I’m sorry, is it too late?’
    ‘No, no, I’m watching some telly.’
    ‘What are you watching?’
    ‘A wildlife doc.’ He chuckles. ‘You think I’m such a saddo, don’t you?’
    I laugh too and my nerves die away. ‘Of course not.’
    ‘Did you have a good day with your family?’
    ‘Yes, thanks.’
    ‘What did you do?’
    ‘We went shopping and for a wander round the Rocks and the Opera House. The usual stuff. Botanic Gardens, as well. Did you get home alright last night?’
    ‘Yeah, no trouble. I should be asking you that.’
    ‘Why should you be asking me that?’
    He yawns and I picture him stretching. ‘It’s the gentlemanly thing to do.’
    I know he’s grinning and I can’t help but giggle. ‘So what do you want to do tomorrow?’ I ask.
    ‘I’m easy. Are you sure your dad won’t mind you ducking out of family commitments?’
    ‘No, he won’t mind.’
    ‘Well, tell him I