Pictures of Lily

didn’t like England?’
    ‘I liked it, but I was homesick.’
    That, I can understand. ‘Did you have many friends?’ I ask, remembering how that saved me once I started school.
    ‘Of course, but they were mostly Charlotte’s friends. I met a couple of decent guys through work, but one of them moved out to the country and the other had a family so he wasn’t much up for socialising.’
    ‘Where did you live? You worked at London Zoo, right?’
    ‘London Zoo, yep, and we lived in North London in a suburb called Crouch End,’ he replies. ‘Do you know it?’
    ‘I’ve heard of it, but have never been there. I was more of an East London girl.’
    ‘You’ve never thought about going back to the UK?’ he asks.
    ‘No.’ I don’t add, ‘Because you ruined it for me.’
    ‘So your sisters and your dad are over here at the moment?’
    ‘And Lorraine.’
    ‘Of course.’ He smiles knowingly. ‘What did she have in the end?’
    ‘Excuse me?’
    ‘Girl or boy?’
    ‘Oh! A girl. Isabel,’ I tell him, smiling. ‘She’s a character. They all are.’
    ‘Do you go back to England often to visit them?’
    ‘No. Dad tries to bring the family over here every couple of years. It’s good. It means I don’t miss seeing my sisters grow up. Although saying that, Kay is frightening me!’
    ‘What do you mean?’
    ‘She’s fifteen now. Like a little adult. It’s a bit scary.’
    He nods. ‘And what about your mum? What’s she up to these days?’
    ‘She’s okay. She lives in Bondi, works as a restaurant manager. Where do you live?’
    ‘Cremorne, in North Sydney.’
    ‘I know it.’ In fact, it’s not that far from Manly . . .
    ‘Where do you live now?’ he asks. I tell him. ‘Nice,’ he comments.
    ‘I like it.’ I pick at my ravioli.
    ‘Not hungry?’ he asks.
    ‘Not as much as I thought.’ I glance across the table, but he’s had no problem tucking into his food – as was always the case. I smile to myself.
    ‘What’s it like, working at the zoo?’ I ask.
    ‘It’s a zoo,’ he says flippantly.
    I lean back in my chair and stare at him. ‘And London Zoo?’
    He shrugs. ‘Another zoo.’
    ‘You prefer conservation parks?’
    ‘You know I do.’
    ‘I know you do?’
    ‘“Zoos aren’t real enough” for you, I think is how you described it.’
    ‘You remember that?’
    He seems to remember as many conversations as I do. He doesn’t answer me. We’re still staring across the table at each other. His eyes are even darker blue in this candlelight. My gaze wanders to his lips. Big mistake. I move on to his jaw and then his shoulders, followed by his arms. His T-shirt is tight enough that I can see the definition of his muscles. I blush and look away.
    He’s reduced me to a teenager again. I want him. I want him as much as I ever did. I shiver and lean forward, trying to focus on eating something. But my eyes are drawn to his lips and I want him to kiss me so much that it hurts.
    Richard . . .
    ‘How is everything?’ Marco breaks the spell.
    ‘Good, thanks.’
    ‘You are not eating, signora ?’ He gawps at my almost-full dish in horror.
    ‘I’m not that hungry,’ I apologise.
    ‘I get you something else?’
    ‘No, no, this is lovely, really. I’m just not that hungry.’
    ‘The steak was perfect, Marco.’ Ben thankfully distracts him.
    ‘Ah, I so pleased. You like another drink?’
    ‘Sure.’ Ben holds up his glass. There’s only a little beer swilling around. Marco turns to me.
    ‘I’m fine, thank you.’ My glass is still half-full.
    ‘Do you ever see Josh?’ Ben asks.
    ‘Actually, yes. I had to go back to Adelaide for a funeral a couple of weeks ago. My friend’s dad,’ I explain. ‘And Josh also came over to visit at Easter.’
    ‘Did he?’ He gives me a look.
    ‘He’s a good mate,’ I add, to clarify the situation. ‘He’s got a girlfriend, now. Tina.’
    ‘Oh, right.’
    ‘He stopped drinking and driving.’
    ‘Really?’
    ‘Yes. We had a massive barney about it.’ I recall that night in Josh’s car. ‘I never got a chance to tell you.’
    ‘What about you? Did you pass your driving test in the end?’
    ‘First time.’
    ‘Thought you might.’
    Neither of us is referring to that night at Mount Lofty. I can’t imagine how we could ever bring it up. It was such a strange, illicit situation – an almost-thirty-year-old falling for a sixteen-year-old girl. It would be like Josh falling for Kay! I put that thought out of my