Prodigal Son

strangely deformed face, claiming to have been made from the body parts of criminals, claiming to have been brought to life by lightning capable of such nimbleness of movement, such uncanny stealth, such inhuman speed that he could be nothing less than supernatural and, therefore, might be what he claimed to be…
        "Hello? Your ghost?"
        Instead of replying, Carson drank more coffee.
        "That's it?" Kathy asked. "Just the tease, and then good-bye?"
        "I feel a little guilty."
        "Good. I was ready for some spooky dish."
        "If I tell you as a friend, I compromise you professionally. You'll need to report my ass for an OIS investigation."
        Kathy frowned. "Officer involved shooting? Just how serious is this, Carson?"
        "I didn't smoke anybody. Didn't even wing him, as far as I know."
        "Tell me. I won't report you."
        Carson smiled affectionately "You'd do the right thing. You'd report me, all right. And you'd write me up an order for some couch time."
        "I'm not as righteous as you think I am."
        "Yes, you are," Carson said. "That's one reason I like you."
        Kathy sighed. "I'm all primed for a campfire tale, and you won't spook me. Now what?"
        "We could make an early breakfast," Carson suggested. “Assuming you've got any real food here in elfland."
        "Eggs, bacon, sausages, hash browns, brioche toast."
        "All of the above."
        "You're going to be one of those blimp cops."
        "Nah. I'll be dead long before that," Carson said, and more than half believed it.

CHAPTER 38
        
        ROY PRIBEAUX LIKED TO RISE well before dawn to undertake his longevity regimen-except on those occasions when he had been up late the previous night murdering someone.
        Nothing was quite as luxurious as lingering in bed with the knowledge that a new piece of the ideal woman had so recently been wrapped, bagged, and stored in the freezer. One felt the satisfaction of accomplishment, the swelling pride of work well done, which made an extra hour in the sheets seem justified and therefore sweet.
        Getting Candace's eyes and preserving them had not required him to be out as late as he'd been on other harvests, but he still would have lazed in bed if he hadn't been amazingly energized by the fact that his collection was complete. The perfect eyes had been the last item on his list.
        He slept deeply but for just a few hours, every minute in the arms of rapturous dreams, and sprang out of bed profoundly rested and with enthusiasm for the day ahead.
        An array of high-end exercise machines occupied a portion of his loft. In shorts and tank top, he followed a circuit of weight machines that brought a burn to every muscle group in graduated sets ending in his maximum resistance. Then he worked up a positively tropical sweat on the treadmill and the ski trainer.
        His morning shower always took a while. He lathered with two soaps: first an exfoliating bar with a loofa sponge, followed by a moisturizing bar and soft cloth. For the most complete cleanliness achievable and perfect follicle health, he used two natural shampoos, followed by a cream conditioner that he rinsed out after precisely thirty seconds.
        The sun finally rose as he applied a skin-conditioning lotion from his neck to the bottoms of his feet. He did not neglect a single square inch of his magnificently maintained body, and used a spatula-style sponge to reach the middle of his back.
        This lotion wasn't merely a moisturizer, but also a youthenizing emollient rich in free-radical-scavenging vitamins. If he had left the bottoms of his feet untreated, he'd have been an immortal walking on a dying man's soles, a thought that made him shudder.
        After applying the usual series of revitalizing substances to his face-including a cream enriched with liquified monkey embryos-Roy regarded his reflection in the vanity mirror with satisfaction.
        For a few years, he had succeeded in fully arresting the aging process. More exciting, he had recently begun to reverse the effects of time, and week by week he had watched himself grow younger.
        Others deluded themselves into thinking they were rolling back the years, but Roy knew his success was real. He had arrived at the most perfectly effective combination of exercise, diet, nutritional supplements, lotions, and meditation.
        The final key