Public Secrets
out.
“I won’t mention it again.”
“Good.” He turned back. Six months he’d waited, hoping she’d come knocking on his door. Now that she had, he couldn’t kick the anger. “Why did you come here?”
“I told you.”
“You wanted company while you took some pictures, and you thought about good old Michael.”
She set the bottle of ginger ale down and rose stiffly. “Obviously I should have thought again. I’m sorry I disturbed you.”
“Walk in and walk out,” he murmured. “That’s a bad habit of yours, Emma.”
“I didn’t come here to fight with you.”
“That’s too damn bad. It’s long past time we had this out.”
He took a step toward her. She retreated. Nothing she could have done would have infuriated him more.
“I’m not Latimer, goddammit. I’m sick to death of you thinking of him every time I get close. If we’re going to fight, it’s going to be you and me and nobody else.”
“I don’t want to fight.” Before she’d realized she’d done it, she picked up the bottle and threw it. Glass and ginger ale exploded in the sink. She stood, stunned, as the fizzing died away.
“Want another?”
“I have to go.” She reached for her camera, but he moved and laid a hand over hers.
“Not this time.” His voice wasn’t calm. When she looked up at him, she braced, waiting. “You’re not going to walk out on me again, Emma. Not until I’ve said what I need to say.”
“Michael—”
“Just shut up. I’ve wanted you for as long as I can remember. That day all those years ago, that day on the beach when I took you home, I had such a crush on you I could hardly see. I was barely seventeen and I couldn’t think of anyone but you for weeks after. I haunted that beach, waiting for you to come back.”
“I couldn’t.” She turned away, but made no attempt to leave.
“I got over it.” Michael shook a cigarette out of the pack, then slammed through the kitchen drawers looking for a match. “I thought I’d gotten over it, and then you came back. There I am minding my own business, cutting the lawn, and you’re standing in front of me. I could hardly breathe. Dammit, I wasn’t a boy anymore and it wasn’t a crush.”
She had to struggle to find her voice. It was a different kind of fear now. Dozens of nerves jumping to tangle over each other. “You hardly knew me.”
He shifted his gaze to meet hers. “You know better, Emma. There was something there, when we sat on the beach. The first time I kissed you. The only time. I’ve never forgotten it. I haven’t been able to. Then you walked away.”
“I had to.”
“Maybe you did.” He pitched his cigarette out the door and let the screen slam shut. “The time wasn’t right, that’s what I told myself. Christ, I’ve been telling myself that for years.” He crossed to her. He could feel her tremble when he took her arms, but he didn’t let go. Not this time. “When is the time going to be right, Emma?”
“I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“That’s bullshit. You know just what I want you to say.”
“I can’t.”
“Won’t,” he corrected. “Because of him. Dammit, you broke my heart when you married him, and I had to live with that. It seems like I’ve spent half my life trying to get over you. Maybe I could have done it, but you came back again.”
“I—” She moistened her dry lips. “I couldn’t help that, either.”
Something came into his eyes that had her holding her breath. “I told myself this time it would be different. I was going to make it different. And then…When I found out what he’d done to you I almost went crazy. I’ve been afraid to touch you, all these months. Give her time, that’s what I kept telling myself. Give her time to get over it. The hell with it.”
He pulled her close and covered her mouth with his.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
I T WASN’T WHAT she expected. She was trapped. There was no denying that she was trapped against him, his body strong and hard and tense, his mouth like a fire on hers. She’d thought she would be revolted, or terrified to find herself held tight by a man again. But those weren’t her feelings. What emotions rushed into her came so quickly her head spun. Warmth and pleasure and an ice-edged spear of desire.
She didn’t want to give herself to them, or to him. How could she when it meant handing her control over to someone else again? But before she could fight, he was drawing away.
He didn’t speak, just looked at her.
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