Redshirts

self-interested.”
    “He seemed to be willing to consider me a friend,” Duvall said.
    “That’s because he thinks we’re friends, and he trusts my judgment,” Dahl said.
    “And are we?” Duvall said. “Friends, I mean.”
    “You’re a little more hyper than I normally like,” Dahl said.
    “Yeah, I get that ‘I like things restful’ vibe from you,” Duvall said.
    “I take it you don’t do restful,” Dahl said.
    “I sleep from time to time,” Duvall said. “Otherwise, no.”
    “I suppose I’ll have to adjust,” Dahl said.
    “I suppose you will,” Duvall said.
    “I have drinks,” Hanson said, coming up behind Duvall.
    “Why, Jimmy,” Duvall said. “That makes you my new favorite person.”
    “Excellent,” Hanson said, offered Duvall her drink, and sat down at the table. “So, what are we talking about?”
    *   *   *
    Just before the shuttle arrived, two more people arrived at the waiting area. More accurately, five people arrived: two crewmen, accompanied by three members of the military police. Duvall nudged Dahl and Hanson, who looked over. One of the crewmen noticed and cocked an eyebrow. “Yes, I have an entourage,” he said.
    Duvall ignored him and addressed one of the MPs. “What’s his story?”
    The MP motioned to the one with a cocked eyebrow. “Various charges for this one, including smuggling, selling contraband and assaulting a superior officer.” She then motioned to the other crewman, who was standing there sullenly, avoiding eye contact with everyone else. “That poor bastard is this one’s friend. He’s tainted by association.”
    “The assault charge is trumped up,” said the first ensign. “The XO was high as a kite.”
    “On drugs you gave him,” said the second crewman, still not looking at anyone else.
    “No one can prove I gave them to him, and anyway they weren’t drugs,” said the first. “They were an offworld fungus. And it couldn’t have been that. The fungus relaxes people, not makes them attack anyone in the room, requiring them to defend themselves.”
    “You gave him Xeno-pseudoagaricus, didn’t you,” Dahl said.
    The first crewman looked at Dahl. “As I already said, no one can prove I gave the XO anything,” he said. “And maybe.”
    “Xeno-pseudoagaricus naturally produces a chemical that in most humans provides a relaxing effect,” Dahl said. “But in about one-tenth of one percent of people, it does the opposite. The receptors in their brains are slightly different from everyone else’s. And of those people, about one-tenth of one percent will go berserk under its influence. Sounds like your XO is one of those people.”
    “Who are you, who is so wise in the way of alien fungus?” said the crewman.
    “Someone who knows that no matter what, you don’t deal upward on the chain of command,” Dahl said. The crewman grinned.
    “So why aren’t you in the brig?” Duvall asked.
    The crewman motioned to Dahl. “Ask your friend, he’s so smart,” he said. Duvall looked to Dahl, who shrugged.
    “Xeno-pseudoagaricus isn’t illegal,” Dahl said. “It’s just not very smart to use it. You’d have to either study xenobiology or have an interest in off-brand not-technically-illegal alien mood enhancers, possibly for entrepreneurial purposes.”
    “Ah,” Duvall said.
    “If I had to guess,” Dahl said, “I’m guessing our friend here—”
    “Finn,” said the crewman, and nodded to the other one. “And that’s Hester.”
    “—our friend Finn had a reputation at his last posting for being the guy to go to for substances that would let you pass a urine test.”
    Hester snorted at this.
    “I’m also guessing that his XO probably doesn’t want it known that he was taking drugs—”
    “Fungus,” said Finn.
    “—of any sort, and that in any event when the Xeno-pseudoagaricus made him go nuts, he attacked and Finn here was technically defending himself when he fought back. So rather than put Finn in the brig and open up an ugly can of worms, better to transfer him quietly.”
    “I can neither confirm nor deny this interpretation of events,” Finn said.
    “Then what’s with the MPs?” Hanson asked.
    “They’re here to make sure we get on the Intrepid without any detours,” said Hester. “They don’t want him renewing his stash.” Finn rolled his eyes at this.
    Duvall looked at Hester. “I’m sensing bitterness here.”
    Hester finally made eye contact. “The bastard hid his stash in my