Savage Tales

no trouble."
    "You shan't have it," I said. "Why suspect?"
    "Two young men. Far from civilization. Faces covered in mud. It could mean anything."
    "It doesn't," I said. "Just drive. And this isn't mud. It's a beard."
    Christian began to lick the chocolate off his face. The driver turned the radio up. An obscure Frankie Valli song played.
    "Why you drive so fast?" said Christian.
    "Haven't you heard?" the man said. "There was a murder back at the camp. A teacher, they say."
    "So you drive –"
    "I'm trying to get away!" the man said, and slammed on the brakes, bringing the van to a dead stop. "If you've got a problem with that then you can get out right now."
    My eyes connected with Christian's. The man accelerated and I tried to attend to the music.
    A few hours passed like that. The forest turned to meadows, and then suburbs. There was a cathedral, something like a school nearby, a playground. The man stopped his car.
    "Well, end of the line," he said.
    "You live here?" I said.
    He laughed. As soon as Christian and I got out of the van he slammed on the gas and tires shrieked. He disappeared into oblivion.
    "A fine mess you've gotten us into," said Christian.
    "Settle down. We're in the burbs. We'll be fine. Nobody ever dies in the burbs."
    "I heard tell –"
    "I said settle down!"
    I punched Christian hard in the jaw. He fell to the ground and began to cry.
    "I didn't mean it," I said. I extended my hand to him. He looked at me with distrust.
    "Then why'd you do it?" said Christian.
    "I meant it when I did it, but I don't mean it now."
    That seemed to qualify. He took my hand and got to his feet.
    We went to the playground near the cathedral. Children played on swings, the slide, monkey bars.
    "They're like monkeys," said Christian.
    "But they're not," I said.
    The children searched for a ball. I saw it under the slide. I pointed to help them. They grabbed the ball but it turned out to be an origami representation of a ball. They jeered at me.
    "We should leave before they grow violent," said Christian.
    I heard a car pull up behind us. I turned and saw it was the cops.
    "Run!" I said, and we bolted.
    The cop car roared to life and soon cut us off.
    "Damn," I said.
    A giant muscled Chinese police officer got out. "You boys seem to be in a hurry."
    "We're not boys," I said.
    "You girls seem to be in a hurry."
    "Har har," I said.
    The officer held up a black glove. "One of you dropped this?"
    "That's not ours," said Christian.
    "He's trying to plant it on us," I said. "It's filled with cocaine or something."
    "It's just a glove," the cop said. "Go on. Take it."
    "There are easier ways down," I said. "Now leave us be."
    The cop saw we weren't gonna bite. He snorted and tossed the glove to the cement, got back in his car, and left.
    "Thank God that's over," said Christian. "I almost peed my pants."
    "I think it's time we split up," I said.
    "Where does this come from?"
    "I don't think we're happy with each other."
    "What does that have to do with anything?"
    "I think we can do better."
    Christian cried again. I started walking. I turned back after a few blocks and saw he was behind me.
    "Go on! Get out of here!"
    He just looked at me with watery eyes. I picked up a rock and hurled it at him. It struck his forehead and he fell to the ground. He landed on grass. I went back to check on him.
    "Hey," I said. "Are you okay?"
    "No thanks to you."
    "You should have ducked."
    "You should have been nicer."
    "The world isn't a nice place. Not for us."
    He started laughing.
    "That wasn't funny," I said.
    "No, it wasn't. I'm thinking of something else."
    "What?"
    "Wemick," said Christian. "I imagine he's just now turning round to see we're gone. He's looking at our empty desks and his face is turning red. He's spent so much time on that blackboard."
    "You can see him? You have powers?"
    "No, I imagine it. How it is. But I think that if I imagine his face, and he imagines my face, and we do it at the same time, it's just like being face to face after all."
    "That's one way of looking at it," I said.
    I heard a distant ice cream truck. I wished I had money to buy something sweet. I might have given Christian a bite. I might have felt charitable.

FO RGOTTEN CORNERS

    While Tarzan was away I tidied our home in the tree. Tarzan is a great guy but he doesn't know a thing about housekeeping. He also can't cook worth a damn. He's a great guy though. For a human. Before I met him I would just swing around with the other chimps and eat