Savage Tales

combing her hair.

    That afternoon Cynthia and Jenny walked home together.
    "I'm so glad we're friends again," said Jenny.
    "Yeah. Being angry is no fun," said Cynthia.
    "So what did she do to you?" said Jenny.
    "Who? Ms. Tannenbaum? She made me take off my clothes and shoved a banana up my ass. I hate her."
    "Eww," said Jenny. "Yeah, me too."
    "You too as in you hate her, or you too as in she also shoved a banana up your ass?"
    "Both," said Jenny.
    "God, what a bore. She can't even come up with anything original. So how did it feel?"
    "The banana? Gross."
    "Yeah, me too."
    "Like… who wants a banana up their ass?"
    "Yeah, totally," said Cynthia.
    "It kind of hurt."
    "Yeah."
    "I never want that to happen again."
    "Well," said Cynthia, "I don't know if I'd go that far. I mean, if the opportunity presented itself with someone more likable than Ms. Tannenbaum and they had something a little smoother than a banana, I might be willing to try it again."
    "Eww," said Jenny. "Really?"
    "Sure. My mom's got a dildo."
    "A what?"
    "A dildo, stupid. It's for sticking inside you. Not your ass. Not really. But it works there too."
    "Why does your mom have that? I thought she was married to your dad."
    "Yeah, but he's a douchebag. You should come over sometime, I'll show it to you."
    "How'd you find out about it?"
    "Mom keeps it on a shelf in the medicine cabinet where anyone can find it. Even guests. I think it's a message that she's not getting her needs met via my father and that anyone who wants to intrude is welcome to do so."
    "Wow, I'm surprised your dad –"
    "I told you, he's a pussy. So you want to come over? We could make burritos."
    "Well, I don't know. I told my parents I'd go home and watch TV today."
    "You can do that some other time."
    "But I'll miss the episode of the TV show I was supposed to see and not be able to tell my parents what it was about."
    "That's what the TV Guide is for."
    "Oh yeah."

    At Cynthia's house no one was home. It was quiet.
    "Where's your brother?" said Jenny.
    "He's at football practice. No, wait, it's Thursday. He's at the chess club."
    "Wow, he's really multi-disciplined."
    "What does that mean? Are you in love with him? Do you want to bone him? Do you want to marry him?"
    "I've never even met him," said Jenny.
    "Oh yeah. Hey, it's burrito time!"
    "I love burrito time," said Jenny.
    They microwaved two burritos and ate them. They also drank lemonade and Cynthia put a couple of her dad's eyedrops into Jenny's lemonade.
    "I don't feel so good," said Jenny.
    "That's strange, I feel fine. And we ate the same thing. So it couldn't be food poisoning. Why don't you come lie down?"
    Cynthia led Jenny down the hall to her bedroom, and had Jenny lay on Cynthia's bed.
    "I like your sheets," said Jenny. "Dora the Explorer. Hey, pendejo, open up!"
    "What?" said Cynthia. "Is that Spanish? I don't speak Spanish. My mom bought these sheets."
    Cynthia started taking off Jenny's clothes.
    "What are you doing, Cynthia?"
    "You were sweating and I thought you might want some air. Hold on."
    Cynthia left and returned with her mother's dildo. Jenny was groggy and Cynthia removed the rest of her clothes. Then she started putting the dildo inside her friend.
    "Wha… what you… doing?"
    "I thought you wanted to see my mom's dildo?"
    "I… I… feel horrible. But go on."
    Cynthia began to lick Jenny's clitoris with her tongue as she continued to stimulate with the dildo.
    "Uhhhh," said Jenny.
    At the bedroom door a young man appeared.
    "Cynthia? What the hell's going on?"
    "Dave, what are you doing home? I thought you had chess practice."
    "We left early because our coach got chicken pox. What are you doing to that girl? Leave her alone!"
    Dave came at his sister and slapped her terrifically across the face, knocking her to the floor. Cynthia was unconscious.
    Dave looked at the strange, delirious girl lying on his sister's bed. Her eyes were open but she didn't seem to see. Her breath came out in soggy whispers.
    He removed the dildo from her vagina and unzipped his pants. He climbed on top of her and began the sex act.
    "My name is Dave," he said.

BREAKFAST IN THE AFTERNOON

    My enemy has kept me in this cage for ever so long. He always leaves a fluorescent light on and it is worse than daylight or darkness because it robs the shadows of their right to be here. Instead there is perpetual void of fluorescence like nails scratching a blackboard ever so long. When I sleep it is so bright that I think the light