Savage Tales

said. "You telling me. You're never getting in this vehicle again."
    "That's fine. But try with the gas again and I'll give her a push."
    I turned the car back on and said, "I'm gonna try to get her out of this ditch. You do what you want."
    And Rich went behind the car and started pushing. I pressed hard on the gas. But I hadn't realized she was in reverse. The tires spun for a second and then finally caught and backed up fast as she could. I heard a bump and Rich screamed, and then the T-bird peeled over him and I hit the brakes.
    "Damn," I said.
    The car was free of the gravel now, and I was sure I could get her up to the road. But I only stopped there with the headlights angled down into the ditch, looking at Rich, breathing, his clothes torn at the front and cuts all over his body. The car had done him a mess, and I was surprised he had remained conscious – the magic of the human body.
    After I caught my breath I got out of the car and walked over to him. Yes, it was not pretty, and I didn't think he'd make it to morning without a hospital in his near future. His eyes fleetingly opened and he saw me, moaned something that might have been words.
    "Just sit tight, son," I said. "We'll have you fixed up 'fore you know it."
    That's the kind of thing you say before you even know what you're saying. They're the words they spout in movies, and they don't mean a thing. It doesn't matter if they're true or not.
    I got back in my car and turned the music back on. I turned it up real loud, so it was almost painful in my ears. I revved the engine and held the wheel tight, then put her in gear and aimed her at Rich. The T-bird hopped over him like any other speed bump. I didn't feel too much inside.
    I took her back onto the highway, and lowered the music to a comfortable level. There was still plenty of night ahead of me.

    A few hours after that I found a diner that didn't look too appetizing except in light of the appetite I'd been nursing for the last six hours, and I decided it'd be good as any. I was the only customer inside, and the cook inside could have been the last man on Earth.
    "Evening," I said.
    "Heck of a night," he said.
    "What you mean?" I said.
    "Nothing."
    I snorted. What happens to a man working out here all alone. Makes a fellow hardly human. I looked the menu over.
    "Just a cheeseburger, fries, and pop," I said.
    "We're out of beef," he said. "Try again."
    "All right, how about a chicken patty then?"
    "Naw, we're out of that too."
    "Then what the hell do you have?" I said.
    "Don't get sore at me, mister. We're far out here. We take what we can get. I'll tell you what though. I'll fix you something nice and if you don't like it you don't have to pay. What do you say? That is a bargain you cannot pass up."
    "Don't sound like I have much choice," I said.
    "You always got choice," he said. "It's just you look like a hungry man."
    I nodded, the only game in town, and poured some ice water from a pitcher while he went to work on it. He took quite a while for me being the only one there, and when it came it looked like a cheeseburger to me.
    "You find some beef after all?" I said.
    "You just try it and tell me you don't like it," he said.
    I went to work on it and he was right, it wasn't beef after all. Whatever it was, it was sure good.
    "Ain't never had nothing like that before," I said. "What was it?"
    "Do you really want to know?" he said.
    "Why wouldn't I? It some kind of secret recipe? You don't have to worry – I won't steal it. I ain't in the restaurant business."
    "It's human flesh," he said.
    He said it all deadpan and our eyes just looked at each other for a bit, until I let out laughing and shook my head.
    "You almost had me for a second there, fellow," I said. "You must get pretty antsy out here all alone to come up with lines like that. They'd shut you down you say things like that in the city. But I guess out here you pass your time how you will."
    "Hmm."
    "What do I owe you?" I said, eager to get out of there and back on the road.
    "That depends. Did you enjoy it?"
    "Yeah, it was great."
    "I'm not entirely convinced you are satisfied. I think you're only telling me what I want to hear."
    "I don't have time for this," I said, and threw down a twenty and left.
    Back on the road I could see the faintest glow of light behind me in my rearview mirror. The radio had turned to fuzz so I drove in silence for a while. After several minutes, my stomach started feeling kind of jerky, like I might need