Sea Haven 02 - Spirit Bound

he lay awake and exulted in his ability to feel such intense emotion.
    He didn’t have pretty words for her, but he had his body to show her just how much she meant to him. He could do all those little things that counted, watching and noting all the things that were important to her, all the habits she had. He wanted to be her everything.
    Stefan looked around the room. The space was feline cream, serene and calm, with splashes of silken color that would always be Judith, that bright well of deep joy and compassion. She might try to feed the passion of her anger and need for revenge, but her true nature would always rise to the surface, her empathy for others always there, forcing her to see their side. The artist in her ran too deep.
    With a sigh, he pulled on his clothes and weapons. He was a little late meeting his brother, and it was becoming difficult to deceive Judith. He didn’t like it at all. If they were going to be together, and he wasn’t going to have it any other way, then there had to be honesty between them. His first reaction was always her protection and the less she knew about Petr Ivanov the better. And the less Ivanov knew about her, the better. But damn it all—he reached down and brushed back her hair—leaving her out of what he was doing felt wrong.
    Resolutely he turned and left, careful to set the alarm before jogging down the road to meet Lev. His brother waited for him beside a small Jeep. He flashed a quick grin and slid behind the wheel, waiting for Stefan to jog around to the passenger’s side.
    “You look like hell, brother,” Lev greeted.
    “I feel like I’m lying to her,” Stefan admitted.
    Lev had driven down the road, but he slammed on the brakes, giving Stefan a disgusted look. “Are you telling me you’re lying to her about what you’re doing?”
    “I don’t tell her anything. She’s asleep.”
    “What are going to say if she wakes up?”
    “She won’t wake up. I made certain of that.”
    “You rotten bastard. Get the hell out of my car. You drug her? You drug Judith?”
    “I already feel like a bastard,” Stefan admitted. “Don’t fuckin’ lecture me.” He dragged both hands through his hair. “You think I like doing it? I don’t know what else to do. I’ve never been in a relationship with a woman. What do you tell your wife?”
    “I tell her the truth. Everything. I told her we were hunting Ivanov and we’d kill him if we found the bastard, that there would be no other choice. If he gets to her or one of her sisters, they’re dead. Rikki’s autistic, she isn’t stupid. She understands a life or death matter. And damn you, Stefan, so would Judith. What the hell point is there in being with someone if you don’t trust them with the truth?”
    Stefan considered hitting his brother for voicing what he’d been thinking. “I don’t know, Lev. Judith is big on Jonas Harrington. She thinks the man can solve anything.”
    Lev shook his head. “That’s not it and you know it. You think it was easy for me to let Rikki see what I am? You’re holding that back, afraid she won’t accept you if she really sees you. Telling someone about our work and asking them to live with it when we’re hunting are two different things. You’re afraid, Stefan.”
    “Maybe.”
    “There is no maybe. Man up. You can’t be with her if she doesn’t accept you, and you’re not even giving her the chance.”
    “And if she doesn’t? What then, Lev? And don’t tell me you could walk away from your Rikki, because if you could, you don’t feel for her like I do for Judith.”
    “Rikki grounds me. She’s the center of my world. No, there’d be no walking away from her, but we talk things out. If you’re going to do this with Judith, you have to trust her with who you really are.” Lev glanced at him. “I think you already know that.”
    “I’ll think about it.” The idea of Judith rejecting him was impossible to think about. He’d been tortured, shot, knifed and faced threats to his life every day. Nothing he’d ever done scared him as much as just the thought that Judith would look at him with loathing.
    Lev took the road leading into Sea Haven along the ocean, a roundabout way in, that allowed them to park out a distance from one of the small places Stefan had rented as a bolt hole. He needed to check his computer and didn’t want anyone tracing it back to Judith’s farm. He’d pick up his hunting supplies, a field kit and glasses.
    As they