Seriously... I'm Kidding

news is, if I pass out at least I’m wearing a robe with a spandex bodysuit underneath it with a T-shirt and shorts over that. The bad new

Answers to Frequently Asked Questions

    Yes.
    Yes.
    No.
    One time in high school.
    Three times in my twenties.
    Rocks no salt.
    Yes.
    Four.
    Never. And how dare you!
    I will take no further questions.

Labels

    U nfortunately, I get labeled a lot. I’m often labeled as a “gay talk show host” or a “vegan animal lover” or a “dancing superstar the likes of which this world has never seen before.” I remember after I became a CoverGirl, people started labeling me as just another “gorgeous blond model with a pretty face” and they stopped taking me seriously. And that was hard. That was really hard.
    The problem with labels is that they lead to stereotypes and stereotypes lead to generalizations and generalizations lead to assumptions and assumptions lead back to stereotypes. It’s a vicious cycle, and after you go around and around a bunch of times you end up believing that all vegans only eat cabbage and all gay people love musicals. (For the record, I find musicals very unrealistic. If I suddenly turned to Portia and burst into a song about how we’re out of orange juice, I don’t think she would just immediately join in. I think she would be confused and concerned for me.)
    Stereotypes obviously come from somewhere. There are similarities among certain groups of people, but it would be dangerous to assume that all stereotypes are accurate. You can’t say all New Yorkers are rude or all Californians are hippies. You can’t say all blondes are dumb or all white men can’t jump. You can’t say all rich people are snobs or all celebrities have big egos and are self-centered. That’s just not true.
    But going back to me for a second. I know there are a lot of stereotypes associated with being gay. However, I didn’t realize just how many there are until recently when a woman asked me how many cats I have. When I told her I have three, the first thing she said was “Oh, you really are a lesbian!”
    And at first I thought, Well, yes I really am a lesbian. That secret’s out. But then I thought, Wait, what? When did that become a stereotype? I thought most people who had a bunch of cats were single and lonely. No. See? That’s another stereotype.
    I was so taken aback by her comment. How does the number of cats you have make you a lesbian? And why is three the lesbian number? Would having only two cats mean I’m straight? Would having four make me a super-lesbian? I’d like to make it clear for anyone who may think otherwise, I assure you that having cats does not a lesbian make. There are a few other characteristics that define one as a lesbian.
    When she said that, it reminded me of when I came out. At that time there were extreme groups that didn’t think I was gay enough. There were other groups of people who thought I was too gay. It didn’t occur to me that when I announced I was gay I would have to clarify just how gay I am. What does it matter? What does it mean? All I can say is I’m gay enough for me.
    To me that’s why stereotypes and labels can be so damaging. People make these sweeping generalizations and have preconceived notions of what you’re supposed to be and of who you are based on a few tiny, little words. I think it’s important to actually get to know someone before you make generalizations. And you can do that pretty easily just by talking to them, asking questions, or reading their diary.
    Despite all the labels, in most ways I’m really not that different from anyone else. I guess if you had to label me, you could say I’m like the girl next door. Well, maybe not next door. I’m like the girl a few doors down.

For the Children—Part One

    O ne of the things I love most about my talk show is the fact that everyone from babies to great-great-great-grandparents watches it. My show is fun for all ages, kind of like an amusement park or a strip club that offers day care.
    Believe it or not, I have a loyal fan base made up of toddlers. I always assumed it was because they were impressed with my comedic timing and interviewing skills, but it turns out they just like to watch me dance.
    I love that kids love my show. In fact, I love it so much I want to devote this chapter to them. On the next few pages you’ll find pictures of cool things kids love that your son or daughter can color in. It’s like a coloring book! Only better