Slammed

want to stay with me, you know he will. You have to give us the choice. We haven't had a choice in any of this. You have to give us this one."
     
    "Okay," she says.
     
    "Okay? Okay you'll think about it? Or okay, okay?"
     
    " Okay, okay."
     
    I hug her. I hug her tighter than I've ever hugged her before.
     
    "Lake?" she says. "You're getting basagna sauce all over me."
     
    I pull away and realize I'm still holding the spatula and it's dripping all over her back.
     
    ***
     
    "Why can't he come over?" Kel asks after I pull in the driveway and send Caulder home.
     
    "I told you already. Mom needs to talk to us."
     
    We walk inside the house and Mom is putting the basagna in the oven.
     
    "Mom, guess what?" Kel says as he runs to the kitchen.
     
    "What, Sweetie?"
     
    "Our school is having a costume contest on Halloween. The winner gets fifty bucks!"
     
    "Fifty bucks? Wow. Have you decided what you want to be yet?"
     
    "Not yet." He walks over to the bar and throws his backpack down.
     
    "Did your sister tell you we're all having a talk tonight?"
     
    "Yeah. She didn't have to, though. We're having basagna."
     
    My mother and I both look at him.
     
    "Every time we have basagna it's bad news. Y'all cooked basagna when grandpa died. Y'all cooked basagna when y'all told me dad was dead. Y'all cooked basagna when y'all told me we were moving to Michigan. Y'all are cooking basagna right now. Someone's either dying or we're moving back to Texas."
     
    My mom looks at me wide eyed, questioning our timing. He seems to have opened it up for an even earlier discussion. She walks over to him and sits down. I follow suit.
     
    "You're very observant, that's for sure," she says.
     
    "So, which one is it?" he asks, looking up at her.
     
    She places her hand on the side of his face and strokes it. "I have lung cancer, Kel."
     
    He immediately throws his arms around her and hugs her. She strokes the back of his head, but he doesn't cry. They are both silent for a while as she waits for him to speak.
     
    "Are you gonna die?" he finally asks. His voice is muffled because his head is buried in her shirt.
     
    "I am, Sweetie. But I don't know when. Until then though, we're going to spend a lot of time together. I quit my job today so that I can spend more time with you."
     
    I wasn't sure how he would react. At only nine years old, he probably won't grasp the true reality of it until after she actually passes away. My father's death was sudden and unexpected, which naturally prompted a more dramatic reaction from him.
     
    "But what about after you die? Who are we gonna go live with?"
     
    "Your sister is an adult now. You're going to live with her."
     
    "But I wanna stay here, by Caulder," he says as he lifts his head from her shirt and looks at me. "Layken, are you gonna make me move back to Texas with you?"
     
    Up until this very second, I had every intention of moving back to Texas.
     
    "No, Kel. We're staying right here."
     
    Kel sighs, soaking in everything he's just been told. "Are you scared, Mom?" he asks her.
     
    "Not anymore," she says. "I've had a lot of time to accept it. In fact, I feel lucky. Unlike your dad, at least I've got warning. Now I get to spend more time with the two of you here at home."
     
    He lets go of my mother and puts his elbows on the bar.
     
    "You have to promise me something, Layken."
     
    "Okay," I respond.
     
    "Don't ever make basagna again."
     
    We all laugh. We all laugh. This was the hardest thing my mother and I have ever had to do, and we're laughing . Kel is amazing.
     
    ***
     
    Two hours later, we have a huge spread of basagna, bread sticks and salad. There's no way we're eating all of this.
     
    "Kel, why don't you go see if Caulder and Will have eaten yet," my mother says as she eyes the food with me. Kel darts out the door.
     
    She sets two more places at the table while I fill drinks with tea.
     
    "We need to talk to Will about helping out with Kel," I tell her.
     
    "Will? Why?"
     
    "Because, I want to take you to your treatments from now on. It's too much for Brenda. I can miss a day of school every now and then, or we can go when I get out."
     
    "Okay," she says as we finish preparing the table.
     
    Kel and Caulder come running through the front door, followed by Will a moment later.
     
    "Kel said we're having basagna?" Will asks hesitantly.
     
    "Yes sir," my mother says as she scoops basagna onto plates.
     
    "What is basagna? Bologne