Snuff

up the ropes so that if anybody was left to try any funny business we were hostage, and then that other man went up to the wheelhouse. I was told that we would be all right, provided my husband gets the cargo to Quirm.” The little girl clung to her dress as the woman continued, her face wooden. “Personally, I don’t believe it, but he hasn’t harmed my husband yet. He’s counting, all the time he’s counting. My husband is listening to Old Treachery and remembering! Trying to out-think sixty miles of murderous water! And if he dies, it wins, wherever you are…”
    â€œFeeney, keep your crossbow pointing at this gentleman, will you?” said Vimes. “And if he makes any movement whatsoever, up to and including trying to blow his nose, you have my full authority to shoot him somewhere where it will be seriously inconvenient.”
    Vimes headed to the steps and nodded to Feeney and Mrs. Sillitoe, raised a finger and said, “Be with you in just one minute!” And hurried down into the hot and noisome heart of the Wonderful Fanny . Snooker, Vimes thought. Knocking the balls until you have the right one right on cue.
    He felt pressure on his feet surge as the vessel lifted, and instantly jumped into the air, landing neatly as the Fanny slapped back down into the water.
    He was confronted by a man who would surely make even Willikins think twice. “You’d be Ten Gallons? Mrs. Sillitoe sent me down here. I’m Commander Vimes, Ankh-Morpork City Watch!”
    And the man with a face like a troll and a body to match said, “Heard about you. Thought you were dead!”
    â€œI generally look like this at the end of boat trips, Mr. Gallons,” said Vimes. Then, pointing to an apparent corpse on the floor between them, “What happened to him?”
    â€œI fink he is dead,” Ten Gallons leered. “I’ve never seen a man suffocated by his own nose before.”
    It was hard to hear anything down in the cowshed given the complaining of the oxen and the ominous whirring of overstressed gears, but Vimes shouted, “Did he have a crossbow?”
    Ten Gallons nodded and fingers thicker than Vimes’s wrist unhooked said weapon off a nail on the wall. “Would come with you, mister, but it’s all the three of us can do to hold things together down here!” He spat. “Ain’t really any hope anyway, the damn slam is right behind us! See you on the other side, copper!”
    Vimes nodded at him, examined the crossbow for a moment, made a little adjustment and, satisfied, climbed up the steps.
    Vimes looked at the few people left on the Wonderful Fanny who weren’t pouring water on the backs of steaming oxen or trying to hold the boat in one piece and above water. The shocks were indeed getting closer together, he was sure of it, and surely, once there was a big enough hole, the whole damn dam would give way.
    All the occupants of the cabin except Brassbound, who fell over, jumped together as yet another surge raised the boat.
    There was a sharp intake of breath from Feeney as Vimes went over to the trembling Brassbound, who had clearly realized that he was likely to be the unlucky winner of the first-over-the-side contest. And Feeney actually groaned when Vimes handed the man the recovered crossbow saying, “I told you, Chief Constable, I know a killer when I see one and I need back-up and I’m sure that our Mr. Brassbound is very eager to get himself promptly on to the good side of the law right now, a decision that might well make him look better in court. Am I not right, Mr. Brassbound?”
    The young man nodded fervently.
    Vimes added, “I’d rather have you down here, Feeney. Until I know exactly who is still on this tub, I’d like you to look after the ladies. Right now I’m not sure I know who’s alive and who’s dead.”
    â€œThe Fanny is not a tub, commander,” said Mrs. Sillitoe sharply, “but I’ll forgive you this one time.”
    Vimes gave her a little salute as all but Brassbound jumped and once again the idiot floundered.
    Vimes turned toward the stairs. “It’s going to be Stratford up there with the pilot, isn’t it, Mr. Brassbound?”
    Another, bigger surge this time, and Brassbound landed heavily. He managed to get out, “And he’s heard about you, you know how it is, and he’s determined to get down to the sea before you catch up