Soul Beach

mid-air and her face apologetic.
    ‘You slapped me!’
    ‘I didn’t want to!’ she hisses. ‘But you’d gone all weird. You were swaying and then you started scratching at your face and . . .’
    I look at my fingers; they’re bent like an animal’s claws. I half expect to see soil under my nails.
    ‘What happened to you, Alice? Did you sense what happened to Meggie?’ She sounds curious, rather than anxious. Suddenly the whole idea of her being the killer seems mad.
    I shake my head. ‘No, of course I didn’t. It’s just the white wine.’
    The expression of disappointment on her face irritates me so much I want to slap her right back. Now I feel safe, but so, so angry with her, and with myself for coming, for getting myself into such a state.
    ‘I want to get out of here, Sahara. But not before you’ve got rid of that bloody key. It’s not right for you to have it. Apart from anything else, you’re contaminating evidence they might not have found yet.’
    She clutches it to her chest. ‘No.’
    ‘If you don’t give it to me, I’ll tell the college.’
    Sahara scowls at me. ‘You wouldn’t.’
    ‘I would. It’s not doing you any good. How often do you sneak in here?’
    She shrugs. ‘Once a week or so. I talk to Meggie.’
    I hold out my hand. Suddenly I feel so much older than her. ‘She’s dead, Sahara. She can’t hear you.’ I cross my fingers.
    ‘You’re mean. And you’re making a mistake,’ she says, but even so, her hand creeps towards mine and she drops the key into my open palm. ‘You need to lock up behind us. Or they’ll know someone has been here.’
    As we turn to go, I take one last look at the room and I feel the darkness once more. ‘No one is coming back here, Sahara. No one.’
    Afterwards, I pretend I need a coffee, and of course, Sahara offers to come, but I bark back, ‘Alone,’ and finally she gets the message. I wait until I’ve seen her disappear back through the gate of the uni.
    I should still try to find Tim, but where do I begin? I could hang around waiting for Adrian, then follow him back to their shared flat. Or skulk around the grungy cafés Tim always liked. But the chances of either plan working are slim, and I need to be back home before it gets too late or Mum will want to know where I’ve been. She’s keeping a closer eye on me these days and I’m cutting it fine already.
    ‘ I promise I will come back, Meggie. I will find him ,’ I whisper, ashamed of my own weakness. But now the decision’s made, I know it was the right one; I need to be razor sharp and prepared for my encounter with Tim, and right now my head’s too full of ghosts and fears to get the answers I need. Instead I walk towards the Thames, the key in my hand so cold that it feels like it’s destroying the hot skin of my palm. The clouds have cleared completely now and the water is still as a mirror, reflecting the heat of the sun.
    I lean against the railing, and hold the key at arm’s length. All I need to do is let go.
    Something’s changed. I spin around, convinced there’s someone behind me, but the nearest people are tourists, eating ice cream, despite the wind. There’s nowhere to hide here, no refuge, yet that sensation of being watched is unmistakeable.
    ‘ Go away, ’ I whisper. ‘ Whoever you are.’
    The feeling goes as suddenly as it came. I look down once more. Even though the river water doesn’t seem to be moving, I hear waves again, but this time they’re softer, more soothing.
    I’m about to release my grip when I hear a whisper.
    ‘ Not yet, little sis. Hold on. The time will come.’
    My hand closes back over the key, almost without me thinking about it, and the iciness of the metal makes me shiver.

37
    I get on the train, exhausted and defeated. All the way home, I try not to sleep, but my head keeps dropping and the brief moments before I jolt back awake are full of grotesque images: Meggie’s face red and swollen, Danny’s whole but lifeless body sitting in an ejected seat in the desert, Triti’s skull clearly visible under skin that’s the same pale blue as airmail paper.
    I shouldn’t have gone.
    And yet, knowing that the key is in my bag makes me think that perhaps I have achieved something. I just don’t know what.
    I run from the station as there’s no point going back to school now. All I want is to be back on the Beach, where my dead friends are restored to beauty and eternal life. I want to hear their laughter, see their