Sweet Revenge: 200 Delicious Ways to Get Your Own Back

One evening in 1979 Walter Harrison insisted that one dying Labour MP should stay at home, despite rasping protestations to the contrary. That very night, in a motion of no-confidence, the Labour Government fell -by one single vote. But even today, having had a Conservative Government ever since, Harrison knows that he did the right thing.
    - with thanks to The Rt Hon Walter Harrison, JP.
     

     
    'A long time ago I wanted to get into marketing and applied to a huge international company for a job. The person I needed to speak to. kept fobbing me off; he refused my calls and never called back. So, I reported him missing to the Police. He called back within ten minutes! Needless to say I didn't get the job; I just got a very angry policeman.
    'Years later I was with the chairman of this company. I asked him about this particular minion and whether he was still with the company. He did some research and found out that he had left "in upsetting circumstances". I told him of my encounter and that I could have ended up doing his job. "Oh," inquired the boss, "Would you like the job now?" '
    - with thanks to writer and TV presenter, Jeremy Beadle.
     

Little Angels
     

     
    'Don't get mad: get even!'
     

Little Angels
     
    The nice young ladies of St Leonard's College exacted their revenge on an unpopular teacher. They got hold of a shop dummy and dressed her in school uniform. The dummy was then suspended by a noose around her neck from an upper window outside this particular teacher's sitting room, during the night. When she opened the curtains the next morning, she had the most horrible shock and had to take the rest of the day off.
     

     
    The girls at Downe House school were finishing off a midnight feast and wondering what they could do next. They all agreed that the services in Chapel were too dull and that it was time to do something about it. Off they crept, and a couple of brave volunteers climbed up the tower to the bell and wound their dressing gown cords all around it to silence it. The following day the bell ringers pulled like mad to sound the bell that summons the whole school to chapel and... silence. Just the headmistress and the organist standing in the chapel, all alone. No chapel that day.
     

     
    Several children at a famous public school took a cardboard box and cut out the bottom. They then placed it in the middle of the corridor, filled it with twenty mice and taped the top shut knowing that the headmistress was coming along at any minute. The chaos was indescribable when she picked up the box.
     

     
    The Australian nanny made a good pretence of getting on well with the family. She always had a smile on her face and was friendly and cooperative. Both parents were lawyers and worked hard and while they were at their respective offices she enjoyed sole charge of the children. During the day, when they were at school, the nanny had been asked to clear out all the children's outgrown clothes and all the baby equipment and take them to the second-hand shop, which she sweetly did - the couple had made it clear that they were definitely having no more children.
    Came a time when the unappreciative couple were going away to a remote Caribbean island, leaving the exhausted nanny and children for two weeks. The couple wanted to crash out in the sun and 'get to know each other again' on a second honeymoon.
    As the resentful nanny waved them goodbye she smiled, remembering how she had quietly removed mum's contraceptive pills from her spongebag and hidden them in the bathroom.
     

     
    'When I was a very young girl at boarding school in Kenya, as in most schools, we had a bully. She was a girl who was older than the rest of us seven-year-olds and took advantage of her position as the oldest in the dormitory. Most of us learned to keep one step ahead of her although none of us escaped the bullying and the blackmail completely.
    'One term, a new girl joined the school and she was the perfect target: small in size, very shy, extremely insecure and desperately homesick. She became the main focus of our bully. Needless to say she was totally unable to cope and it was obvious to everyone that if something wasn't done, she would crack. Telling teachers and matrons about this sort of thing never occurred to us, it just wasn't done, so two friends and I planned a campaign.
    'All dormitories had their rules set down by matron and if these were broken badly enough the offender was removed to another