Sweet Starfire

Cidra.” He felt her drift off to sleep, a bundle of feminine contentment in his arms. Then he lay awake for a long time and thought about the future.
    Cidra awoke the next morning feeling decidedly stiff. The sleeper could accommodate two people in a pinch, but it wasn’t really designed for the extra crowd. Tentatively she moved her leg and felt Severance turn in response. His arm, which was lying across her breasts, tightened. He yawned in her ear.
    “Do you mink your bunk on the ship is going to be big enough for both of us, or will you rig up something to connect the upper and lower berths?” she asked drowsily.
    “My bunk? Do you mean on the ship?”
    “Uh-huh.”
    “I hadn’t thought about it.”
    “Well,” she announced grandly, “you’d better, hadn’t you? You’re the one who’s always worrying about little details.”
    He stilled for a moment and then slowly levered himself up on one elbow to gaze down at her searchingly. She smiled smugly, wondering why he was looking so serious.
    “You’re talking about staying on Severance Pay with me?”
    “I’m a full-fledged member of the crew, remember?” She reached up and toyed with his tousled hair. He ignored her.
    “You’re going back to Clementia.”
    “Nope. I’m going to QED to help deliver the mail.” She tugged at a lock experimentally. He didn’t seem to notice. The first faint trickle of alarm passed through her. “Severance?”
    “You have to go back to Clementia, Cidra.” His voice sounded raw.
    “Why?”
    “Because that’s where you want to go.” She shook her head with grave certainty. “No. Not anymore. I want to be with you.”
    “But you belong in Clementia. It’s your home. Your work is there. The people you care about…” “I care about you now.”
    He drew a deep breath as if preparing himself for an unpleasant task. “You have to go back.”
    His dogged stubbornness began to make an impression. “Why do I have to go back? Just because you say so?”
    “Yes, damn it!” He sat up abruptly, pushing aside the cover of the sleeper. In the muted morning light that passed through the tent screen, the muscles of his shoulders and back were set and rigid. “You have to go back to Clementia because you’ve been saying all along that you belong there. Your life’s ambition is to be a Harmonic.”
    “I’m not a Harmonic. I never was one and I never will be one. I know that now.”
    He looked at her. “But you can live like one. You can change your fancy gown four times a day, practice all the rituals, study the philosophy and the laws. Part of you is Harmonic, Cidra. Hell, Harmonics aren’t an alien race living among humans. Some part of every human being is Harmonic. You can indulge that part of yourself. All you’ll lack is the telepathic ability. You were born into that world, and you can’t possibly know for certain that you want to leave it permanently.”
    “I do know for certain,” she said calmly. “I’m ready to leave it permanently.”
    “Get one thing straight, Cidra. If you do leave it to come with me, you can never go back. I wouldn’t let you go back. Do you understand what I’m saving?”
    “Do you want me to come with you?” she countered.
    He closed his eyes for an anguished instant. When he opened them, his gaze was very hard. In that moment he was all Wolf. “Sweet Harmony, yes. Yes, damn it, I want you to come with me. But not unless you’re absolutely sure it’s what you want too.”
    “I’m sure.”
    “Cidra, you can’t possibly know that. It’s too soon.” She tilted her head as understanding dawned. “You don’t trust me, do you?”
    He was startled. “What do you mean, I don’t trust you?” “It’s true. You don’t trust me. You’re afraid I don’t know my own mind. Well, that’s one thing about being a Wolf, Severance. You have to learn to trust the hard way. You have to take a chance.”
    “I’m not going to take a chance on this. It’s too important. And don’t give me any lectures on what it means to be a Wolf. I’m the Wolf here.”
    “So am I.”
    “Only because I made you into one!” Cidra began to get angry. “Don’t go taking all the credit for everything, Teague Severance. You’re always so anxious to assume responsibility, to be the pilot in command, that you tend to forget I’m capable of free will and clear thinking too. I’ve got news for you, this is a decision I’m making all by myself.”
    “Be reasonable, Cidra.