The Adventure at Baskerville Hall & Other Cases

that, after all our time together, you find that you have developed romantic feelings for me ... in short, that you are in love with me?"
    Holmes stood before the hearth, one arm upon the mantelpiece, in the same lecturing posture that he was wont to take up when recounting his trail of deductions in a case, save that in this instance it was a monologue that had shaken my world to its very foundations. And yet it had been delivered with the same detached intellectual tone as though he were elaborating how the depth to which the parsley had sunk into the butter had aided him in deducing who had murdered the Abernetty family in such grotesque circumstances.
    He coolly inspected his fingernails as he replied, "Watson, that is exactly what I wish to tell you. I deduced some time ago that you also have homosexual tendencies, your appreciation of the female sex notwithstanding, not to mention the fact that you are an extraordinarily compassionate man. Therefore I am reasonably sure that you will not cast me off in disgust, nor will you immediately wire to Scotland Yard to expose me. The only question remaining is whether you could feasibly imagine reciprocating such sentiments to your friend, the cold reasoning machine, and judging from your rather thunderstruck expression and silence thus far, I am forced to conclude that you could not. So I will beg you, therefore, to excuse me if I–"
    "Stop!" I exclaimed, as he made to retire. I had been frozen in my seat by pure shock at the idea of my cool and unemotional friend confessing feelings for anyone, least of all my humble self, and by disbelief, for this was not the impassioned declaration of a lover but as calm an announcement as though he were informing me that it was a Wagner night at Covent Garden. Indeed, I should have said calmer, for I knew him to like Wagner's work very much, and he always showed a great enthusiasm for his operas.
    Quickly, I rose from my seat and stood before him, boldly clasping one of his hands between both of my own.
    "My dear fellow, if I have been silent it has been through surprise and happiness – let me assure you that your feelings are most whole-heartedly returned. You are correct regarding my tendencies but it has been almost two years since I have found myself able to be intimate with a man, for I have not been able to stop thinking about you. I am afraid I am completely mad about you."
    Seeing his involuntary smile, I reached up to cup the nape of his neck as I had wanted to do for many months now.
    "My dear Holmes," I breathed, and drew him to me for a kiss. His mouth stayed frozen against my own, and his hands settled lightly, and chastely, on my waist. After a couple of minutes I drew back, a slow foreboding uncoiling in my stomach.
    "This is not what you meant," I said, dismayed. "Forgive me, I beg you, I clearly misunderstood–"
    "No, you did not," said he, catching when I would have drawn back. "You understood me perfectly, but that was not all I wished to say to you. Since you reciprocate my feelings, then I feel obliged to tell you that I fear that you will find me a rather poor partner for I have never ... I have never–"
    "Been with a man?" I finished for him, and smiled. "Do not worry, it is said that physical intimacy it comes more naturally with a man than with a woman."
    "I appreciate the attempt at reassurance, Doctor, but there I fear that you make assumptions that are incorrect."
    The knowledge that I would be his first ever partner in carnal encounters moved me deeply.
    "My dear man, you do me a very great honour by allowing me to be the first person to share this with you. Do not worry yourself over a lack of prior experience; the advantage of being with a man is that you may simply touch me as you would touch yourself and all will be well."
    He squared his shoulders and drew a deep breath as he replied, "There again, Watson, I regret to tell you that you are making assumptions that are unsupported."
    I drew back and stared at him disbelievingly.
    "Do you mean to tell me that you have never mastu–"
    "No."
    " Never? Surely during your adolescence, you must have, even once or twice, tried–"
    "Never."
    "But ... how ... why ... my dear fellow, all this time? Didn't you discuss such things with other chaps your own age? How did you not ... good Lord..."
    His annoyance was born from his embarrassment, and the former was as great as the latter. He drew himself up to his full height as he replied rather frigidly, "I