The Beginning of After

there, his hands still on the wheel.
    “I’ve been driving for so long,” he said softly, “it still feels weird to stop.”
    Silence again. It felt like David needed me to take the lead here. We’re on my turf now. So I just said, “Thanks for the letters.”
    He turned to look at me, expressionless.
    “I mean, Masher thanks you. I think they smelled familiar or something.”
    David smiled wistfully. “I’m glad he liked them.”
    “Let’s go see him,” I said, opening the car door. We climbed out of the Jaguar, and now he was following me to the house.
    As soon as I took out my keys and they jingled, we could hear Masher barking and panting inside, which made David laugh. In seconds the door was open, and Masher leapt through the doorway straight at David, a frantic blur, and had his paws on David’s chest and his tongue on David’s face. He’d known David was there, even though we hadn’t said a word. Somehow, he was sure of it.
    I stepped around them into the house, toward my room, so I could change out of all that white. When I got there, I walked into my closet and closed the door behind me, thinking of David’s eyes laser-beaming at the place he’d always called home.
    Sometimes I play that night over in my head.
    It had never occurred to me that David was haunted by the wondering too. It was so simple, and so obvious.
    I cried hard but quietly with relief in the dark.

Chapter Twenty-three

    A n hour later, Nana was laying out some Pepperidge Farm cookies for us on the kitchen table, apologizing that she didn’t have anything homemade.
    “It’s fine, Nana,” I said. “Can you chill?”
    “I’m just kicking myself because we had that pumpkin bread but I brought it all down to the Dills’, and I should have kept some for us.”
    She smiled down at David, who was sitting with Masher’s head on his lap, inhaling defrosted mulligan stew as if he hadn’t eaten in days. I had to give Nana credit; when she got home about ten minutes after we did, she was unfazed by his presence at the house. She didn’t even seem to mind that I was blowing off the dance. She just went straight to the freezer to see what kind of food she could offer.
    When David finally took a break from the stew and reached for a cookie, Nana made her move.
    “So, David, what brings you home?”
    He flinched for just a second but continued his cookie grab. “Oh, didn’t you hear?” he said lightly—too lightly. “My grandparents sold the house, and I have to go through my stuff to decide what to keep.”
    We were silent. I had driven or walked by the FOR SALE sign every day since it first went up, but still the thought of someone else living in that house never entered my mind. It didn’t seem possible. I’d grown to see it as an empty, perfectly preserved memorial of my family’s last night alive.
    “Who did they sell it to?” asked Nana.
    “Some married couple with a baby,” said David, practically spitting out each word.
    We were quiet again. There was really nothing to say to him that would be appropriate. It only felt right to stay in the small, here-and-now details.
    “Do your grandparents know you’re here?” Nana asked.
    “No, not yet.”
    “I’m sure they’ll be happy to have you home again.”
    David shook his head. “I’m not staying there. I . . . I can’t. Stay there.” He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and squinted at the display. “I’m trying to hook up with Kevin to crash at his place, but he’s not calling me back.”
    Nana glanced at me, and I just raised my eyebrows at her to let her know, Go ahead .
    “Well, you can stay here if you want,” said Nana. “There’s a nice sofa in the den that I can make up for you.”
    “Really?” David’s face lit up. “That would be great. I could bunk with Mash here.”
    He had a look I’d never seen before. Sincerity maybe, mixed with a little self-pity. I didn’t know him well enough to pin it down.
    I kept wanting to say something to him, but after my little closet episode, I found myself speechless.
    “How’s your father?” Nana asked casually. I’d been hoping she wouldn’t ask that. I didn’t want to know.
    And it made David’s face fall again. “He’s the same.”
    “I’m sorry,” said Nana.
    “I’m going to go see him while I’m here.”
    “I’m sure he’d like that.” Nana paused, then put her coffee cup down. “I’ll go get the couch ready. You must be exhausted.”
    She left the room and