The Book of Death (Bourbon Kid 4)

smile.
‘Right,’ he said leaning back in his chair. ‘Let me just summarise this out
loud, so I can be sure I’m getting it right. According to you, this city was
taken over by a mummy who created an army of vampires and werewolves to carry
out his plot to take over the world.’
    ‘That’s right,’ said Sanchez.
    ‘Uh huh. And these vampires and
werewolves are responsible for all the murders in this city.’
    ‘Most of them,’ said Flake. ‘A
lot of the kids were killed by Santa Claus.’
    Williams took a deep breath and
loosened his tie. ‘Of course. Santa was responsible for all the child killings.
And then of course there’s the Bourbon Kid who you say was responsible for
saving the city from the undead.’
    ‘He played a part,’ said
Sanchez. ‘It was a team effort though.’
    ‘A team effort, huh.’ Williams
stopped fiddling with his tie and ran his fingers through his thinning silver
hair. This was exasperating. ‘So which one of you guys set fire to the museum?’
    ‘That was the mummy,’ said
Sanchez. ‘He did it with laser bolts from his hands.’
    ‘Laser bolts, of course.’
Williams stared hard at Sanchez. The idiot cop in his stupid highway patrol
outfit was keeping a straight face throughout the interrogation. ‘I find it
interesting that the report also says you set fire to Santa Claus in the
street, in front of a group of Sunflower Girls.’
    ‘That’s right.’
    ‘Nice work. You sure you didn’t
set fire to the museum too?’
    ‘Quite sure, thanks.’
    Williams tried to eyeball
Sanchez, but could see nothing through the other man’s dark glasses.
‘Interesting,’ he mused. ‘The Casa de Ville burned down too. No survivors there
either. You were there that night too, before you went to the museum, right?’
    ‘Correct.’
    ‘Seems like these fires follow
you around, Mr Garcia.’
    ‘Yes it does. Better than being
followed around by flies though.’
    Williams resisted the urge to
lunge over the desk at Sanchez. He wanted these two idiots out of his office
and off the police force as soon as possible. He took a moment to calm himself
before continuing. ‘You’re also claiming that a book called The Book of Death
which you stole from the library was causing the death of everyone whose name
was written in it.’
    ‘Yep.’
    ‘This book also burned in the
fire, along with another book, sorry ,’ he paused for dramatic effect, ‘ another magic book that you say kills vampires.’
    Flake jumped in. ‘I can vouch for
the magic bit. I used it to kill the Vampire Queen. And a librarian.’
    ‘Did you?’ Williams’s voice
dripped with sarcasm. He was convinced they were taking the piss, yet the pair
of them maintained their straight faces. ‘And yet all of the evidence that could
back up anything you’ve said in this report burned in the fires at the museum
and the Casa de Ville. Isn’t that convenient?’
    ‘On the contrary,’ said Flake.
‘I think it’s somewhat inconvenient. You clearly don’t believe anything we’ve
put in that report. The evidence would have come in handy. Wouldn’t it,
Sanchez?’
    ‘Yep.’
    Williams reached forward and
closed the report folder on the desk in front of him. ‘Right,’ he said. ‘Let me
get this straight. You two are proudly claiming to have used a pair of books to
defeat an army of vampires.’
    ‘And werewolves,’ Sanchez
chipped in.
    ‘And werewolves,’ Williams
repeated, wearily.
    ‘Come to think of it,’ Sanchez
went on, ‘I hit a zombie over the head with a stick at one point too.’
    Williams ignored the latest
boast from Sanchez and carried on. ‘So how many names did you write in The Book
of Death, Sanchez?’
    ‘Just the names of the mummy and
the Vampire Queen,’ said Sanchez proudly.
    ‘Just the bad guys, huh? What
about Elijah Simmonds? Did you write hisname in the book?’
    ‘Who?’
    ‘The museum’s assistant manager.
His charred remains along with that of a security guard named James Beam were
found in the fire. Autopsy reports say Simmonds blew his own brains out with a
Desert Eagle, and Beam was stabbed to death. It’s hard to tell though, because
there wasn’t much left of either of them after the fire. Neither of you two
have mentioned anything of this in your report. Were Simmonds and Beam vampires
too?’
    Sanchez raised an eyebrow. ‘Jim
Beam is dead?’
    ‘Yeah. Know anything about it?’
    ‘Nope.’
    Flake gave Sanchez a playful
shove. ‘Jim Beam,’ she said with a