The Cafeteria

manuscripts lay around on tables and chairs. In the corners books and magazines were piled high. I opened the closets and threw inside whatever was under my hand: jackets, pants, shirts, shoes, slippers. I picked up an envelope and to my amazement saw that it had never been opened. I tore it open and found a check. ‘What’s the matter with me – have I lost my mind?’ I said out loud. I tried to read the letter that came with the check, but I had misplaced my glasses; my fountain pen was gone, too. Well – and where were my keys? I heard a bell ring and I didn’t know whether it was the door or the telephone. I opened the door and saw Esther. It must have been snowing again, because her hat and the shoulders of her coat were trimmed with white. I asked her in, and my neighbor, the divorcée, who spied on me openly with no shame – and, God knows, with no sense of purpose – opened her door and stared at my guest.
    Esther removed her boots and I took her coat and put it on the case of the Encyclopaedia Britannica . I shoved a few manuscripts off the sofa so she could sit down. I said, ‘In my house there is sheer chaos.’
    ‘It doesn’t matter.’
    I sat in an armchair strewn with socks and handkerchiefs. For a while we spoke about the weather, about the danger of being out in New York at night – even early in the evening. Then Esther said, ‘Do you remember the time I spoke to you about my lawyer – that I had to go to a psychiatrist because of the reparation money?’
    ‘Yes, I remember.’
    ‘I didn’t tell you everything. It was too wild. It still seems unbelievable, even to me. Don’t interrupt me, I implore you. I’m not completely healthy – I may even say that I’m sick – but I know the difference between fact and illusion. I haven’t slept for nights, and I kept wondering whether I should call you or not. I decided not to – but this evening it occurred to me that if I couldn’t trust you with a thing like this, then there is no one I could talk to. I read you and I know that you have a sense of the great mysteries –’ Esther said all this stammering and with pauses. For a moment her eyes smiled, and then they became sad and wavering.
    I said, ‘You can tell me everything.’
    ‘I am afraid that you’ll think me insane.’
    ‘I swear I will not.’
    Esther bit her lower lip. ‘I want you to know that I saw Hitler,’ she said.
    Even though I was prepared for something unusual, my throat constricted. ‘When – where?’
    ‘You see, you are frightened already. It happened three years ago – almost four. I saw him here on Broadway.’
    ‘On the street?’
    ‘In the cafeteria.’
    I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. ‘Most probably someone resembling him,’ I said finally.
    ‘I knew you would say that. But remember, you’ve promised to listen. You recall the fire in the cafeteria?’
    ‘Yes, certainly.’
    ‘The fire has to do with it. Since you don’t believe me anyhow, why draw it out? It happened this way. That night I didn’t sleep. Usually when I can’t sleep, I get up and make tea, or I try to read a book, but this time some power commanded me to get dressed and go out. I can’t explain to you how I dared walk on Broadway at that late hour. It must have been two or three o’clock. I reached the cafeteria, thinking perhaps it stays open all night. I tried to look in, but the large window was covered by a curtain. There was a pale glow inside. I tried the revolving door and it turned. I went in and saw a scene I will not forget to the last day of my life. The tables were shoved together and around them sat men in white robes, like doctors or orderlies, all with swastikas on their sleeves. At the head sat Hitler. I beg you to hear me out – even a deranged person sometimes deserves to be listened to. They all spoke German. They didn’t see me. They were busy with the Führer. It grew quiet and he started to talk. That abominable voice – I heard it many times on the radio. I didn’t make out exactly what he said. I was too terrified to take it in. Suddenly one of his henchmen looked back at me and jumped up from his chair. How I came out alive I will never know. I ran with all my strength, and I was trembling all over. When I got home, I said to myself, “Esther, you are not right in the head.” I still don’t know how I lived through that night. The next morning, I didn’t go straight to work but walked to the cafeteria to see if it was