The Class Menagerie

the Spring Fling.“
    Shelley waved that away. “Piece of cake. They’re all children. It’s the adults I can’t stand working with. Secretary. The nerve. She’ll regret this.“ She levered herself out of the chair. “I’m through hostessing. I’m going home and take a bath in my own bathroom and a long nap. After beating up someone.“
    “Anyone in particular?“
    “My sister-in-law Constanza.“
    “The unmarried one who’s watching your kids?“
    “The unmarried, snoopy one. I locked all our personal papers and my jewelry in that safe I had put in the linen closet last month. She’s probably had in locksmiths by now. She loves pawing through our stuff and then making inventories for the rest of Paul’s brothers and sisters. She’s probably made a list of how many bras I—Oh! How could I forget? Go take a look at the living room.“
    “The Joker again?“
    “And how!“
    Jane opened the door cautiously and didn’t know whether to be shocked or to laugh at the sight. The room was festooned with underwear. Bras draped over lampshades, panties suspended from television knobs and drawer handles, slips hanging over the coffee table, pantyhose spread-eagled on the sofa.
    Jane closed the door and came back into the kitchen. “Crispy’s?“
    “Probably. Part of it anyway. You’ll have to take a closer look later. Some of the stuff is real raunchy. Crotchless panties with obscene sayings, bras with the nipples cut out. The embroidered phrase ‘Tuesday’s Tits’ sticks in my mind. If she really brought that stuff along, she was expecting this reunion to be a lot more fun that most of us were anticipating.“
    “Where was the cop they left here while this was being done?“
    “Probably asleep on the sofa in the library. He’ll probably be in big trouble for not apprehending somebody, even though it’s not a crime to redecorate with lingerie.“
    “Does Edgar know? Poor Edgar.“
    “No, but I think he’s beyond caring. I believe Gordon’s really worried about his state of mind. He stayed home today, too.“
    A shriek of laughter came from the other room as someone else discovered the underwear. “This trick’s odd, Shelley,“ Jane said. “It seems more elaborate. More personal. It seems to actually ‘mean’ something.“
    Shelley picked up her purse. “I’m too tired to analyze the fine points. I’ll be back later. Or maybe I’ll just go to the airport and ask them to put me on the next plane leaving the country.“
    As Shelley left, Edgar came into the kitchen. If Gordon was worried about him, he shouldn’t have been. Edgar looked rested and relaxed. “Jane! You’re bright and early,“ he said, opening the door to the mammoth refrigerator.
    “Edgar, you’re so perky!“
    “I think I’ll do the creamed eggs and asparagus this morning,“ he said. “Yes. Over toast points. Maybe a breath of curry...“
    He was back on form. As Jane made the basic white sauce for him and was inordinately pleased when he complimented her on it, Crispy came in the kitchen, her eyes red and her voice trembling. “Where is the wastebasket?“ she said, holding out a wad of flamboyantly colored underwear as if it were soiled.
    “Over there,“ Edgar gestured. “What’s that?“
    “Disgusting underwear,“ Crispy said. “A nasty, filthy little trick.“
    She was genuinely upset, which surprised Jane. In the back of her mind, Jane had been assuming that Crispy herself was the Joker. She hadn’t even consciously realized this before now. But obviously this wasn’t a joke Crispy had played on herself to avoid suspicion. This joke had really bothered her. Jane kept stirring the sauce, turning the heat down slightly. It was possible, though, that Crispy had played the other tricks, and someone else—suspecting her—had engineered this one. It was difficult enough to imagine that this group contained one practical joker, let alone two.
    Jane had a desperate craving to just sit down and think for a long time. These last two days had dumped so much information and so many impressions into her, that her subconscious seemed to have sunk under the weight of them. She was sorry that she and Shelley couldn’t sit out on the patio, or at one of their kitchen tables, and chew it over together. They were such good, familiar friends that they could communicate in a verbal shorthand that was very comfortable. And sometimes very productive.
    Edgar took over the sauce and Jane went to the dining room to set